SinSynn's WAAC Tactics for the Fluffy Gamer

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

I have recently come to the conclusion that I'm basically a Fluffbunny.
I have absolutely no problem with this realization, but there it is.

*It's not so bad...I just really fear hawks now*


On the flipside, I have no problems whatsoever with 'competitive types.'
This is their hobby, too, so...whatevs, amirite?
I'll gladly exchange jokes and jabs with the likes of GMort (our own 'power-gamer extraordinaire' here at HoP, and author of GMort's Chaotica) , and I've had many interesting back 'n' forths with Stelek, over at YtTH, regarding the Tau.

These guys BLEED competitive, and I embrace them as brothers.
It is what it is...different strokes, different folks and whatnot.

We all play 40k, right? So we can meet in the middle and chat about it, regardless of our...is 'differences' the word I'm looking for?
Id' like to think it ISN'T.
I'd like to think our similarities should bind us together as hobbyists.
*shrug*
Just throwin' that out there, folks...see if it sticks.
:)

It's pretty clear to me that I fall on the 'Fluffy' side now, however, and I can pretty much lay the blame at the feet of one awesome Xenos chick....

*I heart Shadowsun*


Yep...My favorite Xenos female.
Oh, man...I would lay some SERIOUS tentacle on her.
And yeah, she's most likely melta my face...but it would so be worth it.
Yes I know she isn't real, and maybe doesn't technically have 'feet,' either, but....

DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
...this is MY Xenos fantasy...go find yer own...nyah.

So let me say this plainly, and proudly:

I will NEVER, EVER run a Tau list without her in it.
That's my 'grrrrrrrl' right there...she's a badass.
Don't bother trying to explain why she isn't an 'optimal' HQ choice- I ain't tryin' to hear it.
Oh, and don't you DARE say something like, 'Shadowsun is fail,' cuz I'll fucking Disintegrate you.

*Just ask this guy...oh, wait- you can't. Mwahahahaha!*


So since I'm the kinda guy that'll make excuses to run models he likes, instead of 'min/max-ing,' that makes me 'Fluffy,' right?
Meh, whatevs...
Here's my true feelings on this issue-

1) The models are more than 'wound markers' for me. It was the models that bought me here in the first place.
I know perfectly well how bad Lictors are, for example. I still love them, cuz they're fucking cool....so, nyah.
:P

2) I do this 'hobby thing' to chill, in all honesty. If I'm all 'stressed out' over a Tabletop game that's supposed to be FUN, then something has gone terribly, terribly awry.

3) Being 'awesome at 40k' isn't like, a priority in my life.
Don't get it twisted- I in no way want to diminish anyone's...thing, or whatever.
But as for me, if it comes down to sleeping in on a Saturday or attending a Tournament, well...

*Lemme know how it went, I guess....*


I'm sorry...It's just that I work for a livin,' and I wanna sleep past like, 7 AM on my days off.

I'm primarily a nocturnal Xenos, and my idea of a great time gaming is an evening spent in The Ultimate Rival's garage, when it's after midnight and we're still cursing at each other and rolling dice.

Hmph...I let a joke pass...Hold on a sec.
...*ahem*...
I said, 'The Ultimate Rival'.....

*Yeah, that's him*


Whew, thought I was losin' my touch.
:D

One thing is VERY important to me, gaming-wise, however....

The Ultimate Rival MUST BE DEFEATED, at all costs!

I take that VERY seriously, folks...I am totally 'WAAC' when it comes to..him...
-_-

However, I am...unwilling to budge on the Shadowsun issue.
Heh.

With that in mind, I have developed a set of DEVIOUS XENOS TACTICS to assist in this honorable goal.
The world MUST be rid of his kind of evil...
Y'know, the kind that builds efficient army lists, rolls dice that are completely un-cursed and makes logical strategic decisions.
Fuck those guys, I say.
Nyah.

My fluffy brethren! Are you tired of getting ROFL-stomped by the 'competitive types'?
Well...I honestly can't help you there...I suck at this game...
But I can make it more fun for you (and maybe them, too)!
These tricks won't really help you 'win,' but...whatevs.
I'm here for the LOLZ....aren't you?
:)

*Xenos trickery!*


1) SLOWPLAY, but not the 'douchebag' kind.
Think 'casual game' slowplay, and yer on the right track.

True 'competitive types' will not tolerate deliberate slowplay, and will shout out people who do it.
The trick is to NOT be 'competitive' with your slowplay.
You're there for fun, remember?
Mr. Competitive across the table there could use a lil' fun, I think.
Don't you?

Crack jokes, tell that story 'bout yer mother-in-law that's so funny, enact violent death scenes for your models, do a 'dice sacrifice ritual,' whatever.
Be creative and keep it varied.

You'd be surprised at how time flies if you and your opponent are sharing a laugh and exchanging stories....isn't that better than having someone friggin' loathe you?
DON'T use things like 'rules arguments' and the like.

If you're a dick, that's not cool....but if yer desperate, do something like...drop a few dice.
Your opponent will probably help you look for them, especially if they're on his side of the table.
Whoops...there goes a few minutes...Hey, thanks for the help...sorry, I'm a klutz. Ok, now...where was I? Oh, darn it all, I forgot....Hafta start over...
...
See how that works?

Just don't use arguments and hassles, and keep it light hearted and fun.
A little joking goes much further than a lotta hassle, trust me.

If they're laughing and having a good time because you're doing an impression of a rutting Ork, well then, you've already won a moral victory, and they'll never know what hit 'em.

2) BE INNOCENT AND KINDA STUPID
Competitive types are at their most predatory when confronted by a noob.
It's your job to turn that against them!

*Heed the Kitteh...the Kitteh is wise*


Show up at the game table, wide eyed like a deer. Start doing noob stuffs.
Say stuffs like, 'This is my first Tournament,' or 'Man, I haven't played in so long,' or whatever it takes.
AGAIN- don't be a jerk!
Be ingratiating, be sorry for your noobishness, be desperate for help, for knowledge...seek your opponent's assistance in learning how to play...you're a lamb....
Yes, you will likely get slaughtered.

However, even the most jaded 'competitive type' was a noob once, and will likely be softened up a bit by this approach.
They might not beat you so bad, they might feel a little fluffy sunlight filter into their blackened, competitive souls, and who knows?
They might leave an opening somewhere for you to exploit.
Turnabout is fair play, after all....
*Evil Xenos cackle*

3) BE DISTRACTED
Again- don't use 'dick moves' like ringing cellphones, having conversations with people at other tables, etc
No, the trick with this one is involving your opponent to the fullest.
Engage the person across the table in some basic 'introductory' conversation.

Are they married?
Well, then...you've got 'Terran Female' issues.

Are they younger cats that live at home?
Ugh, yer parents are SUCH a pain in the ass.

See where I'm going with this?
Lay it on thick. Have a sob story.
You can't even focus on the game, such is your drama...drag yer opponent down into yer hell.
Before you know it, they're all sympathetic ears, and you've made an ally.
See if you can translate that empathy into victory!
You can be there to console your defeated opponent...after the game.
;)

And finally, SinSynn's 'DESPERATE TIMES, DESPERATE MEASURES' ULTIMATE TRICK!

4) BE A CLUMSY DUMBASS

*Maybe it is, buddeh...maybe it is...*

It's a pretty well established fact 'round these parts that I'm...well, not right in the head.
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
...cuz I swear it's not my fault...

But at this point I've garnered a reputation for doing things like-

Rolling dice into my opponent's models and breaking them.
Placing my own models in precarious positions, where they fall...onto other people's stuffs.
Tripping on anything and everything in the immediate area, with disastrous results.
Spilling stuffs...again with disastrous results.

If I don't manage any of that, I've been known to..break random stuffs nearby, like an unfortunate lamp in The Ultimate Rival's Gaming Garage.
Although he'll NEVER let me hear the end of it, I DID win our game that night....
Just sayin,' folks...
:D

Take these 'tactics' and run with them, my fluffy brothers and sisters!
And before you 'competitive types' start complaining about 'gypsy tricks', remember that you guys write posts about 'getting inside your opponent's head,' and whatnot.
Pfft!
Here's what's in MINE:



*You happy now?*


Until next time, folks- HAVE A VERY XENOS DAY!

-SinSynn

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