[Weekly Top X] - There's No I In Team, But There Is One In 'Victory'.

Not to mention 'win', 'glorious' and 'triumph' - which just goes to show that trotting out trite little phrases as if they prove anything is not the hallmark of the great leader, but of the prat with a flipchart and a management training certificate.

There's an I in porpoise too. What do you make of that, fancy-man? Eh? Eh?

Despite my cynicism, however, winning is not something you can do alone. The vast majority of the games we talk about 'round these parts require other people to play. I've reached a point where single-player gaming is virtually dead to me; if I'm going to sit at my computer pretending to be an adventurous elf I'd much rather do it in a multiplayer context than not. On the tabletop we don't really have even that luxury; I did try to play tabletop games with myself when I was very young and had no friends, but people look at you strangely if you're putting on funny voices while you're talking to yourself, and I've never been very good with Space Marines and tried to rig all my games so that the Orks won.

Anyway, this week's Weekly Top X is all about people (or things) (unless the things are also people) playing together.



Certs of Certs Tabletop has been a much busier bee than the title of this post implies; the post covers three distinct games of Blood Bowl and highlight the tactical depth of the game by showing how Dark Elves (a 'not very good' team) can take on Dwarfs (a 'stupid over-powered' team) and, umm, at least hold their own. Not only that, but it talks about playing Dreadball with your girlfriend. That's the nicest thing.

DiStudios continues our 'gaming with girlfriends' theme over at The 14th Legion, discussing the Empire and Vampire Counts armies he and his lady are working on. I'm pleased to note that she seems to be making more progress than him; that's a lot of Vampire Counts with a lot of little flair touches like scenic bases on the go. I approve.

Afterimage Dan is also doing stuff with other people, but on a rather more grand scale - rather than pissing and moaning about the demise of the Specialist Games and the lack of global play initiatives by GW, Dan is just playing Specialist Games, and encouraging you - yes, you - to do the same, reporting your results to a global campaign that's at least as developed and attractively presented as GW's ever were, with the added bonus that something might actually happen at the end of it. I particularly like the wry little 'time of ending' touch; the Specialist Games should not be allowed to go gently into that good night. Maybe someone should do the same for Mordheim and Warmaster. Maybe that someone should be me...

Kenzie's Tabletop Gaming covers a run of pre-release Magic games; team games, to be precise, alliances between the various guilds in the current expansion's backstory being the order of the day for this event. I'm leery of multiplayer gaming as a free-for-all but the idea of team play does fill me with slightly more joy, especially in a game as combo-tastic as Magic. Plus there's none of the spatial awkwardness that tends to turn team 40K into a series of 1v1 games on the same board; with no terrain or movement awkwardness to worry about, it seems there's a lot more focus on doing stuff with and to each other's cards.

It's not just people that have to play nicely together in order for fun to happen, though, it's mechanics. The idea of synergy in one's 40K army is currently dwelling on Nick Thrower's mind, and his post at The Burning Eye shows the development from "just use the ones that look cool" into "but wouldn't it be nice if they did cool stuff too". It's worth a read, although I do feel the layout needs a tweak; sketchy white font on a black background hurts yer Uncle Von's tired eyes.

Now, the thing about doing things together is that some people will always try to spoil it for the rest of us. Some of those people will try to sell you things that don't exist or otherwise take your money and return naught but ashes and bones; Capture and Control's Overwatch has a warning about one such specimen, which you may wish to heed. Meanwhile, Sons of Taurus warms the cockles of my cold dead heart, striking a pose and making a stand against the Stupid Virus, attacking the false dichotomy of 'competitive/not competitive' that's brought up by people who don't feel comfortable without a baddie to shake their fists at and pour scorn upon for ruining the hobby for all true hobbyists everywhere (i.e. the people who agree that there are two sides and the other one are the baddies).

Is that enough? That's enough. I'm off to paint some elves.

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[Weekly Top X]tra, Xtra! Read All About It!

So.

Apparently, Games Workshop wants you to cease and desist talking about what might be going on with their games in the future. At least, on blogs hosted by Blogger.

I am reminded, at this stage, of something my old mate and alleged co-author Lexington once drew, waaay back when he was being politely spoken to by the Reichstag's Foreign Affairs office - drawing GW's IP-protecting policy to its extremely illogical conclusion, he inferred that one day we might be playing with imaginary models on an empty board, and paying GW for the privilege of doing so. I mean, there's no way we could steal their ideas then, is there?

Tempting as it is to run the full researcharama and actually find out exactly what's going down in Workshop-town, I haven't the time, or the patience, or the willingness to sift through hysterical forum discussions and, to be honest, if I were going to investigate corporate intrigue and the silencing of citizens' voices, I might start with something a teensy bit more serious and important than toy soldiers.

If you haven't read Transmetropolitan, you should.

Therefore, the only thing to which I'll be linking on the matter is Blood of Kittens' call for a little common sense, a little awareness of how corporate IP protection strategies tend to work, a little reading of the actual announcements made by the people involved, and a little less chestbeating. Oh, and some sneering at the expense of Warseer, because it wouldn't do to be entirely sensible about these things when we could rake over the coals of nerd drama, would it?

The rest of your Weekly Top X coverage will be about, y'know, actual hobby stuff.

For those of you who are still remotely interested in WFB, Hero's Gaming Blog has some stuff on the spangly new High Elves. It's long past the point where removing army-wide Always Strikes First that isn't actually called Always Strikes First and thus operates outside the hard counters to that rule actually matters to me, but it's still nice to see. Also, they have a phoenix, and I'm quite keen on the phoenix, as mythological creatures go.

The Dice Abide offers some reflection on the ways to play WFB - specifically, taking a good hard swing at the paper tigers of composition scoring, banning bits of the game that you don't like, and the ETC restrictions pack. I think we've established, by this stage, that I don't think any edition of WFB except sixth has been something I'd care to play at tournament level, and that was largely an accident of the Ravening Hordes approach to redrawing the armies. That said, I'm broadly in accord with what Adam suggests here.

Quarantine World reviews one of the worst books I've ever read and, thankfully, doesn't approve of it. It doesn't mention that Nick Kyme's prose is, at the sentence level; both awkwardly paced and clunkily phrased - with the net effect that the eye stalls. With every sentence - stopping and starting like an under-maintained engine. It catalogues the rest of the book's faults with care, however, and for that, it gets a thumbs up from me.

Outsyder Gaming has a non-boring Pathfinder session report for you. I'm never sure how I feel about session reports, but I like this one for its glimpses into the GM's process, thoughts about the genre of the campaign, and sources for resources used in play. If you're gonna do it, do it like this and don't just tell me about your paladin.

Tales from the Warzone says Malifaux is going into its second edition and that Wyrd are running a public beta test. Saw this coming; Malifaux's a good laugh but it was born bloated and it's only gotten worse, while public beta testing worked out pretty well for Privateer Press, all told, and I'd like to see it become the norm.

Wargaming Tradecraft's gone all gelatinous this week, and is showing us how to make textured trees the quick way (rather than the Von way, which involves floristry wire, Milliput, a toothbrush, cheap artists' ink and a lot of swearing and mess - but which is quite good fun). Get it down yer gob.

Neverness Hobby has dug out the Battlemasters box and by Eris' waffle iron that thing is immense. The post, as well as the set; Neverness is well aware that Battlemasters will be news to most of us and is doing a fine job of showing and telling us the basics of what looks like it just might be a crackin' good game.

The Dark Templar shows us a step-by-step guide to painting fussy, detailed figures - it starts with priming and airbrushing and will, I hope, press on with a similar level of detail for each day of the project. I've never been keen on long, drawn-out painting processes myself, but I understand they're the norm among people who actually enjoy painting and want stuff to be the best, rather than people who mildly dislike painting and just want stuff to be done and not rubbish.

Lorenzen's Abyss, meanwhile, has a similar step-by-step guide to tabards. Given that I am a clumsy sausage-fingered oaf-creature, I am always in need of careful, detailed instructions for sculpting, including accounts of what can go wrong and why it's not working like it does in the pictures. Lorenzen delivers, warning for pitfalls and perils at the key stages and explaining with care but without smugness why you're doing everything that you're doing. It's pretty neat.

Aaaand that's your lot for the week! Go! Read blogs! Raus raus!

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[Weekly Top X] One Grind Or Another

Back at work, and already counting the working days until the next half term (21 at the time of writing; 19 by the time you read this). We'll be a little light on editorial this week, largely because I don't have all that much to say for myself for a change. Let's skip right to the Top X, eh?


Bugger me sideways but this display board on The Back 40K is good. I tend to experience pangs of guilt and shame when shuffling up to tournaments with my paint-stained tea-tray as it is (display boards and long train journeys don't really mix), given the number of people who've produced multi-tiered scenic wedding cakes with hand-carved slots for every warjack, but the provision of a four-part diorama for an entire team's armies, which to my eyes looks big enough to play an admittedly rather imbalanced game over... that's something else. My ghast. She is flabbered.

I See Lead People has some beautiful things to show us too, in this case a glorious Raven Guard army, complete with objective markers and other useful tokens. Put this on a super shmexy display board and you're laughing.

If you're interested in achieving similarly gorgeous effects on your nerd game miniatures, Coloured Dust has got you covered with this neat tutorial on how to use a spangly dark steel pigment and do wonderful, wonderful things with sci-fi weaponry. For those on my end of the painting spectrum ("git 'er dun!"), iWargame has sourced a saucy replacement for the sadly-mourned, all-encompassing Devlan Mud (good job too, 'cause mine's started to rot and Hark won't actually let me open the pot indoors any more, it smells that bad...).

That just leaves the small matter of the play aids, and BDS40K is here for you with a quick and simple route to getting those objective markers, status trackers and other useful thingummybobs down and on the board. Plus, you'll have to drink things that come in bottles with metal caps. That can't be bad, can it?

The perfect fusion of board manufacture and play aid, however, is achieved this week by The Aspiring Resurrectionist, who's working on a themed board or two for Malifaux, and showing the heart of a true skirmish gamer by looking for ways to build in the status trackers and generally keep clutter out of the play area. It warms me cockles greatly, so it does, and makes me sincerely regret that the Castle von Von doesn't really have room for that sort of thing. (It barely has room for us...)

Veering away from the hobby side of things now: 3++ Is The New Black has prepared and distributed a helpful guide to the welter of acronyms with which we discourse hounds tend to discuss the miniature wargaming hobby's poster boy. Leaving aside the... heated debate, shall we say, which must have inspired this post and continues to seethe and sputter in the comments section, this is actually a neat idea - while most of the acronyms and nicknames are comprehensible in isolation, especially if you know what you're talking about, the sheer number of them that I've seen used in some people's army lists, tactical tips and general 40K discussion can render them a little bit overwhelming and a little bit harder to grasp. There's nothing wrong with specialised terminology, but there's nothing wrong with glossing and accessibility either.

I'm always into identifying strongly with characters, and Im Memorian features something inspirational in that line; be sure to check out the short essay on different Inquisitorial styles and achieving contrasts in fanfiction while you're there, or just marvel at the collection of visual representations that Karri has to offer.

Mr. Frontline has broken the surface again, just to let us know that he's not dead; he wants you to share your stories of how blogging's helped you out and kept you going, and while I'm preparing my contribution, I think you should go and compose one of yours. Do it now. I'll be here when you get back.

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[Weekly Top X] We Waste Good Raiding Time

Hi, kids! Your Uncle Von's two week holiday is nearly up, and the objective of getting his Blood Elf Monk back into a position where she can go for whole hours without dying has pretty much been met. It's been a long hard slog and I absolutely haven't had cause to slack off and run the Firelands with my new super laid back friendly guild's absolutely serious and professional raid team. Nuh uh.

The most professional.

I've also been playing a lot of Magic this week, since my boardgame crazed housemates have given it a try and found it largely to their liking. This is quite a good thing as it means my cards get used more than maybe twice a year, and also that my deckbuilding skills get a fillip - they want to play colour combinations like red/green which I don't entirely (read remotely) grasp as a player, which means I'm having to think about things in slightly more detail than just "put everything with Extort, everything that needs black and white mana to cast, and everything with 'Orzhov' in its name together and see what happens".

Some Dark Ages Vampire has been played - the second act is rapidly coming to a close, as our intrepid and useless band of bloodsucking vagabonds have secured access to the lair of the Witch of Pharos, an ancient and powerful Assamite who they believe to be sheltering the character they're blood-hunting. Thanks to some well-placed divinatory visions, and the healthy paranoia of players who've been subjected to my convoluted plotting for over two years now, they're no longer entirely convinced they're doing the right thing, or even that they're fighting the right enemy, but given the sheer power of what they're up against, they don' have much to lose by just walking in and asking "so what the hell is going on here?"

Oh, and I've had time to read some blogs as well. Gotta love the Easter holidays.

I have no idea what Warzone is, nor why it needs a Kickstarter, but Johan Mars seems quite excited about it and the models he's previewing look a bit (a lot) like mutant Brian Nelson Orks, which is relevant to at least some of my interests and potentially yours as well.

Also relevant to my interests is this saucy desktop wallpaper, sourced by the chaps at Miscellaneous Miniatures. Behold the cyclopean majesty of the tomb! The Chaos Space Marine on the right looks rather impressed, but his mates are more on guard, and well they might be. If I were still in a position to deploy Chaos Allies, and I arc back and forth between "do it" and "don't do it" on a daily basis at the moment, this would be the start of the justificatory narrative...

Oddleg has been Enterprising about Dreadball strategies this week; I haven't had the chance to play any Dreadball as yet, but I do like these play-by-play breakdowns of winning tactics for Blood Bowl, and it's nice to see the new game of genre-fiction football being given the same treatment. Oddleg's also standing up for a team that's been criticised, bucking the trends in the community, and generally demonstrating that people are Wrong On The Internet, which is always something I like to see in a gamer.

J.D. Brink has turned his Chaos Theories toward fanfiction this week. I've always had a soft spot for the Space Wolves, as loyalists go - they're far more human, far more flawed, and far more interesting than either their Space Marine status or Space Viking aesthetic has any right to be. This one's quite well written, exploits the quirks of Marine biology for some nice turns of phrase (I particularly like 'His twin hearts were torn in different directions') and best of all it's part of a planned arc so it should actually have some sort of structure and closure to it. Goodfic!

Creepy Corridor has some medieval pikemen to show us and I quite like them. Historicals are always a bit strange to me - I understand the appeal but it's pretty definitively not my bag, I like my outrageous fantasy adventures a little bit too much.

Here's something a bit controversial for you - some well-chosen words from Gothmog's Sepulchre of Heroes, concerning the use of Forge World miniatures in mainstream gaming, the ways in which such an experience might be justified and managed, and the potentially obsolete nature of many objections. As usual, I'm not saying I agree, but it's food for thought if you're fortunate enough to own Forge World stuff. If you are fortunate enough to own Forge World stuff, donations of Mark III Space Marine kits are always welcome and should be dispatched to -

What? What do you mean, "no begging"? Lauby, you're no fun at all.

OK, fine. Over at A Gentleman's Ones, Brian is doing something a little bit unorthodox. He's contemplating not only a narrative event, in which balance is thrown to the winds in favour of telling a good story, but doing it with the Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game. Yeah, you heard. That thing that only Hark and I still seem to like. And he's doing it properly, none of this pretending it's about points matches and pickup gameplay.

I gather that some Tau have been released recently. From the gloating of my long-time compadre Ben, I have gathered firstly that the Riptide is a thing of beauty, secondly that the Tau special characters are mostly actually special in some way, doing special things and enabling special options, and thirdly that it's all about the Skyfire down the Tau way. NockerGeek has some more thoughts on the Codex, which he'd like to share with you, and which are significantly more useful than any of that noise.

Adam B of The Dice Abide has got his scalpel out this week and done an extensive job of work on a rather dated model. His Abaddon actually looks like it could do some Despoiling. Check it out.

OK, I'm done. I also have at most three more days (two really, if I want to be at all ready for my professional responsibilities on Monday when I go back to work) to get this pointy-eared tart raid-ready. The Isle of Thunder beckons, and I must answer. Toodle-pip!

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[Weekly Top X]-Treme!

It's dark in the House of Paincakes Doom Fortrees office. Strange, blubbery, vaguely aquatic sounds emanate from the playpen SinSynn Holding Facility; Dethtron's king-size speaker system lies dormant, devoid of Metal; the clutter of Dropzone Commander goodies on Lauby's desk totters gently in the breeze from the air-conditioning, swaying this way and that but never quite falling. Even Lo is AWOL - the red phone is not flashing, the cute purse is absent, the whimsy has left the weekly.

And yet, at the ungodly hour of 5.30 in the ante meridian, someone is awake. Bathed in the baleful glow of jury-rigged dual-screen monitors, his mind athrong with thoughts of reputation rewards, talent specs and appropriate glyph allocations, Von is hunched in a sort of cave made of unread Beard Fanciers' Weeklies and unopened Necron kits, playing World of Warcraft.

The impression is that he's been at this for some time. It's not that he hasn't left the desk - he doubtless has, his beard is trimmed and the poop-sock is conspicuous by its absence. It's more the haggard look in his eyes, the fevered mutterings about raid gear requirements and this being why PvP is more fun. That's definitely what gives it away, actually. Anyone who thinks PvP is fun during the school holidays must be insane.

The lights come up, and Von's monitors splutter and die. Shaken from the click-induced trance, Von blinks a few times and squintily focuses on the message now flashing on his screen.

All right, all right, fine, I'll interrupt this unparalleled opportunity to sort out my Monk with two weeks of hard grind and RP shenanigans just long enough to bring you a bumper romper stomper hamper of a Top X. There's been a lot of good stuff flickering past my field of vision in the last seven days, so this week has no theme beyond sheer variety. Enjoy!

First off, Kevin's Miniatures and Hobby Table has this neat little Warmahordes battle report. Unlike some of us, Kevin is capable of writing battle reports of less than 3,000 words in length, and unburdened by tedious narrative, terrible puns and sideline explorations of unexpected mechanical interactions. By contrast this is short, clear, to the point and an entertaining read. You might even learn how not to win with [SPOILER].

Ashley's giving away free stuff at Chickhammer! As a triumphant tribute to a hundred posts of thoughtful hobby content from ze female perspective, Ashley's waving a GW gift voucher around and all you have to do is tell her you'll do something interesting with it. Even the haters among you must want, like, paintbrushes or terrain or Aaron Dembski-Bowden novels or something that GW does well.

still practicing has always been a thoughtful blog, not given to following the consensus, and Tallarn has lately turned his mind toward doing something meaningful about the Heldrake - not pissing, not moaning, not carping and definitely not whining, but toward evaluating its capabilities, its ground-level effect on how list design and game planning, and some moves toward dealing with the damn thing meaningfully.

Da Masta Cheef of Da Long Wayz Dezert Groop, meanwhile, professes to be made of granola. Or something. Being British I am not even entirely sure what this word means - is it something like a Nature Valley Bar (say that in a broad Welsh accent and a surprised tone, and you'll never be able to take it seriously again)? I certainly don't see how it relates to someone's personality type and interests, unless it's something about doing a broad range of stuff besides playing nerd games and that making you a stronger, stickier, tooth-cracking-to-eat kind of person. Which is, I admit, something with which I've struggled in the last seven days...

Unite All Action would like to show you a Blood Bowl pitch. You will now play Blood Bowl. This is just a thing that's going to happen. It's not like it's the best game GW has ever designed, neglected, and then given over to the fan community and third party manufacturers to maintain indefinitely, or anything. No sir. Anyway, this board is frickin' sweet and 3D and accessible and functional and cuts down on the extraneous cardboard factor of Blood Bowl, which is always a good thing.

The Army Collector has a few words to say about SAGA, a strange historical game which has been intermittently popular down the Clapham Wargamers' Guild way of late. I profess to not entirely understanding how it works, but our man the Collector has shed some light onto the ups and downs and ins and outs of it, and that's helped.

Incarias Speaks, and at present he speaks of Malifaux, giving a full and frank appraisal of the game's three significant faults as he sees them. I share many of his misgivings about the system, and yet like him I also recognise its addictive properties; the capacity to link and synch connections with just another box, just another blister, and then you can try this one out, which is so terribly compelling and, for once, actually a pathway toward game effectiveness.

And finally, the Steam-Powered Gamer has his thinking cap on and is contemplating the Reeves of Orboros. I do like these re-appraisals of under-used second-tier pieces in Warmahordes; like many things, the Reeves are slightly clunky but have a place in the odd niche build, and I'm always a fan of niche builds. I also like crossbows, and the Reeves have those in abundance.

Right. That's enough for you lot to be getting on with. I've Golden Lotus rep to grind. Naff off 'til next Friday.

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[Weekly Top X]-Customer

The puns will continue until morale improves... err, hang on.

What's that, Lauby? Where? Waiting for who? Oh. Um. Right. Never mind, then.

Apparently I'm lucky to be let off with a caution. Anyway, this week is (mostly) about customer relations - doing it badly, and doing it well.



I admit that I haven't been following Bitzgate '13, a.k.a. the latest reason to ragequit buying GW products for six months tops, as closely as I might, largely because "GW throws weight around and attempts to dictate terms to secondary market" and "GW gouges independent gaming retailers through profound misunderstanding of how non-UK (and, increasingly, UK) market operates" are kind of old news to me at this stage. Stupid company continues to make (mostly) nifty models and (sometimes) enjoyable games, angry people post angry words on Internet, world keeps turning. However, there have been a few gems amongst the gristle; their sparkle has caught my eye and I've plunged my arm up to the elbow in wobbly meat products, that I might extract said shiny objects for your viewing pleasure.

This one from Overwatch at Capture and Control merits a look, mostly because I enjoy a good conspiracy theory but also because it's the kind of part-baked brain-dead scheme I could actually envisage someone, somewhere in the bowels of what Nottingham's taxi drivers apparently call the Reichstag, actually coming up with. Admittedly that person would have to have no idea whatsoever of how the wargaming market operates in countries where GW doesn't have a high street presence, and where independent retailers are a kind of tradition and far more significant way of generating awareness and shifting units, like everywhere beyond the shores of Merrie Englande. Said person would also have no capacity to do joined-up thinking and realise that slashing the opening hours of GW shops and reducing staff presence means those brick-and-mortar own-brand retail outlets are less capable of selling stuff, and that the local indie gaming shop going out of business means there might actually be no physical place at which to buy GW goods, be reminded that the products even exist, or generate the community and play experience necessary to ensure that products get used and repeat sales get generated. As a great man once remarked, though, like German tourists, the stupid are everywhere. I can almost hear some nitwit talking about "eliminating the competition through reducing their direct sales footprint" or something similarly bafflegabbish.

Meanwhile, The Sustainable Centre talks about GW moving back into the bits market. It would indeed be nice to purchase any component of any model directly from GW. In the callow days of my youth, this is in fact how things worked. You did have to buy a whole sprue if you wanted a plastic bit, but you could order absolutely anything for which the mould hadn't actually worn out and for which there was actually ever a mould in the first place. I actually still remember a vague feeling of outrage at the idea that this service would be replaced with 'bitz packs' containing officially sanctioned conversion material, and that anyone who wanted to do something different with their collection was basically out of luck or out of pocket. It'd be interesting to see if GW did re-invigorate a bitz service given the amount of dead plastic that would almost certainly be generated from kits with one really desirable part and five-hundred and eighty-three components with the hobby appeal of old donkey knobs. Imagine the mountain of unwanted Lychguard necks!

I'm not bitter.
Much.

The thing is, models in those days made more demands to be converted. One-piece flat-pose metals have mostly gone out of fashion, the occasional and inexplicable Konrad von Carstein notwithstanding, and so the urgent need to Do Hobby On Everything is perhaps not there any more. People still do it, but there's more appeal in just sticking with the base range than I think there used to be. One thing that I will say for GW is that they are producing things which, when I were a lad, would have been the domain of scratchbuilders - people with stacks of plasticard in various thicknesses, scalpels in various degrees of tiny sharpness, and altogether too much time and patience on their hands. I mean, look what Tabletop Fix dug up: the Mk III Breacher Squad is altogether too epic and if I had money to throw around I'd have done a MkIII Iron Warriors army already. Mind you, it's coming to something when the main range is sufficiently pricey to make me even consider Forge World as an option...

On the subject of stuff GW still does well - there's a lot to be said about, and for, their background, as this piece from Colonel Scipio over at Palladian Guard demonstrates amply. When you can get three posts out of insignia and decoration, you know that someone, somewhere is putting in a lot of creative effort, filling out those little details that make for both verisimilitude and long arguments about what Dan Abnett wrote on page 354 of Gaunt's Ghosts: The Gauntelating and how it contradicts the second edition Codex and...

... wait, that was supposed to be a happy post. MOVING ON. Blood Bowl. Blood Bowl always makes me cheer up (except when it doesn't) and HOTPanda of Standard Template Construct is bringing joy to the masses by running a local league. The drawing of thirteen players to a supposedly 'dead' game is no mean feat and, I think, speaks volumes to the potential for good times and sustained play offered by this GW product. Not that I think of it as a GW product any more. It's a Jervis Johnson game for which GW happen to distribute the rules and for which everything else is available from a range of independent retailers.

Now, in these times that try men's souls, ragequitting does happen and there are certain retailers who have profited greatly from certain other retailers' tendency to induce this in their customers, to the point where the first set of certain retailers' story might be said to be exactly that of the second set of retailers, just one or two chapters behind. All right, I admit it, I'm talking about Privateer Press, and so is Sgt. Brisbane at sons of thunder. At times like this it's worth remembering that Privateer Press' ceaseless tinkering with their tournament pack, regular errata derived from event observation and dialogue with the consumer base, and history of semi-open playtesting for major rules revisions is by no means a bad thing. I question whether or not PP set out to create THE tournament game - rules were lighter and scenarios simpler in the early days of Mark I, and no game where arcs of sight are so important should ever use round bases - but they have taken note of their tournament scene and worked with it rather than against it to make something which is a generally customer-friendly experience. When I've had a bad time at Warmachining I have never, ever felt like it was the company's fault for making something Not Fun.

However, that's not to say that it's all wine and roses on the UK Warmahordes scene. One thing which has gotten me all worked up of late is the folderol surrounding Maelstrom Games, and The Marienburg Gazette's Davey explains why. What we have here is a company with a proven track record of taking your money and not giving you anything for it, a company which survived for several months on a) goodwill and b) having a really convenient location for event hosting. Said company went flop and was promptly re-invented so that a) the venue at least could stay open and b) the actual people who'd so badly mismanaged the retail arm could more or less, walk away. All's fair in love and business, right? What galls me is the success of a Kickstarter, a model based on good faith and deferred gratification, established by people who have already demonstrated that they cannot be trusted to give you what you paid for. It's one thing to be gouged by GW, who will at least put a product in your hands while they're doing it. I'm genuinely amazed that people are lining up to give Maelstrom a) another chance and b) more money which could be just as profitably stuck up your bum and set alight.

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The [Weekly Top X] Factor

It's my own fool fault, really.

I'm worry about whether or not the things we post on the ol' House of Paincakes are appropriate to a network hub, or whether they belong on a personal blog. I get fretful about whether or not we're networking properly, whether we're talking to people on their turf and promoting good stuff on ours. I, like a damn fool, mention that I have a day off every week and that my WoW server is down for half that day and consequently I have time on my hands, and that there hasn't been a Weekly Top X for a while. And Lauby puts two and two together and sort of goes YESSSS and that totally constitutes permission to take this baby out for a spin. Right?

Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed! Fire up the subwoofer! Hook those fifty machines to my little black heart!

Let's get this show on the road.

1. Warhammer 39,999: Batrep: Space Wolves vs. Tyranids, 2000 points. The only thing more metal than Vikings is Vikings in space, and the only thing more metal than Vikings in space is Vikings in space fighting a friggin' hoard of xenomorphs and slamming four special characters down on the board to boot. The only thing I don't like about this battle report's that it's too damn short. Also, that Tyranid army looks sweet.
   
2. A Murder of Ravens: Malifaux on a Budget: Plastic Crews. The only thing better than a Frugal Gamer is a Frugal Gamer who remembers to talk about whether or not things are effective. Cheap ain't always good, and there's nothing less Frugal than throwing money away on stuff you don't want to use. With that in mind, talking through the advantages and the expansion opportunities of some Malifaux starter crews is Worth Doing.
   
3. Gmort's Chaotica: Malifaux for Beginners: Ability List. Talking of Malifaux, one thing that's always given me the conniptions about Wyrd's game is the bold choice they took to start out with rules bloat. You could call it a Mali-faux pas. No? Nobody? Well, anyway, there's a lot of stuff on those cards, and a lot of it's not immediately apparent from just looking at the cards either. Gmort's done a good thing by identifying the generic terms that Wyrd don't bother to explain and attaching some sort of definition to them. Not terribly metal, but one for your reference list for sure.
   
   
   
4. A Gentleman's Ones: Adepticon 2013: Tables. I love me some home-made terrain, and I love me some well-managed projects too, and what Brian's doing here is ace. This whole mock-up-and-move-shapes-about thing is exactly how I go about planning a big hobby project - I'm no good with diagrams, see, I have to have things to play with, and so I've something of a soft spot for the approach he's taking.
   
5. Excommunicate Traitoris: Make Hay While The Sun Shines. Not all terrain projects have to be huge, mind. It's the little things that make a board unique and special and different from the generic "two hills, two woods, one large central ruin to annoy Stelek" approach that terrain often ends up taking. Little things like having hay-bales for the models hiding in the barn to take further cover behind, but having them as small independent pieces so you can still move a whole WFB regiment around them if you have to.
   
6. Kenzie's Tabletop Gaming: Gatecrash, Week 3. OK, I admit it, this one's in here just because I play an Orzhov deck and it's given me a couple of ideas for combos that I hadn't thought of before. And and and I think it's an interesting thing, blogging about Magic; I'm never quite sure how it works but I like to see other people doing it.
   
7. Porky's Expanse: Local Made Good - collaborative campaign locations. I'm a big fan of getting players in my RPGs to involve themselves and their characters in the living world. A player who's helped to build the world knows what it all means and is bound to have ideas about where and how their character fits into it, and I vastly prefer that to a player whose character sort of skims across the surface of the world, lacking the general knowledge to give any context to their decisions. And Porky's done gone made a mechanic for it, because he's awesome.
   
8. GAME OVER: Once A Railroad, Now It's Done. Why? Because I'll not have the opportunity for blatant self-promotion again, that's why! Neither will James S of Warp Signal, nor Old School Terminator of Dark Future Games, at least not in the way he's been doing so far. Nobody's deleted anything, though, so this is the perfect chance for you to engage with some back uncatalogued. I hope to see both of these thoroughly excellent chaps around the comments sections of the House.

That goes for you ragamuffins too. Get out there, get commenting, get networking, or I'll tell Eddie where you live.

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Weekly Top X- Kickin' It!

Ok, I'm sneaking in a quick post while Lauby's off at work. The bonus of flex hours, and all....

This week's Top X is all about YOU- the things you are doing, and the awesome ways you're doing it. I'm focusing on Kickstarter projects, so of course, I gotta pimp the boss, plus a few others that have hit me up...


In case you didn't know (or forgot), my somewhat delinquent internet boss (one of 2) also happens to be a HAWT drummer, so I totally don't mind getting bossed around by him.

1.) If you haven't heard, take out your earplugs! METAL MADNESS!  Check out Dethtron's band, Crusader, raising funds for a new album. Here's the link.

I have missed most of the shows they have put on due to timing or funds- but I won't miss out on the album - and you shouldn't either!

Metal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.) Brian, of A Gentleman's Ones, has joined Hyacinth Games; and they're throwing a party to raise some funds for some beautiful miniatures. After the massive success that Reaper had, I know there are a lot of projects out there. This one is stellar and worth your time. Please give it a look here .

3.) For you RPG fans out there, one of my local friends is working on the "wave of the future" with RPG Publishing via e-Publishing. Check out his project here.

4.) I'm a HUGE fan of the RPG, but these minis are so cool, I could use them for just about any possible system or idea! You need to check them out!

5.) A little something for my pal, SinSynn. These are just begging for someone to buy them! Have a look.

6.) This one is just........so old school, it just makes me smile. I can think of so many other ways to use these guys than the game they are being made for... besides; who doesn't want wood? Go have a look!

ok, I gotta scoot before Lauby-slash-bossy-pants comes back to check on things. It's gotten MUCH harder to sneak in since he installed the motion detectors and robots... jeez... burn down ONE building and see what happens....

until next time... go check out some links!

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New Member Monday - Anxious Robots

Greetings friends and family of the House of Paincakes!  We're slowly but surely getting settled into the new Illinois Central Servicing Office.  Once the drab, corporate furniture shows up we'll all be even closer to getting back to full speed. This time distraction free and thrice as efficient as before.

Don't tell anyone, but if we hit our numbers this month, I plan on letting the staff each hang a single, pre-approved poster as a reward.

One of many captivating choices.  Wimsey!

And one lucky dickens will even get a coffee cup with a racy slogan (which they can keep using so long as no-one complains).  Keen!!

The Weekly Top X

Twitchy Droid Painting
Keywords: Warhammer 40k painting website, showcasing my commission and personal work, focusing on conversion and lesser known 40k armies (such as Imperisl Guard Beastmen, Harakoni Warhawks air cavalry, etc)

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Weekly Top X- Crime and Punishment

Loquacious is trying to get settled into the new Illinois Central Servicing Office of HOP. The building is undisquisedly ugly, cinder block and steel, with overly shiny floors from a massive coat of Simonizing wax.

There are no rock n roll posters, no tea cushions with frippery and no tentacle hentai. There is also a decided lack of painting tables or cat trees, and Lo is fussing about the office, shouting loudly:

WHERE IS MY THRONE????

It's true, Lauby cheaped out on the furniture, with everything ordered direct from
CubicleMart. Lo seems  extra put out at her missing chair. She flumps down on a folding chair at her makeshift desk and simply pouts for a moment while she scrounges inside her everyday purse.

A UPX Driver enters the building and produces a SUPER PRIORITY Envelope.

"Ms. Uh.....Lock....Loqui---Locker...- what the hell is your name?"

"Loquacious. It means I talk a lot. People call me Lo. What do you have? More fan mail for the alien?"

"Um. No. It's a Signature Required item. For you."



Loquacious whips out a pen (because she always has at least one) and signs for the envelope.

The UPX driver hurries out, seemingly knowing the contents of the envelope are BadNews(Tm).

Lo opens the envelope and reads a letter which is apparently from Lauby. It is written in VeryBossyWords and Lo scowls at the page as it nearly screams at her

"Don't do this! Do that! Stand up straight! Get out of my way" and the like.

The queen of words "hmphs" as she finishes reading the paper. She is VeryMad and working up to TotallyPostal as she straightens things along her nearly empty desk.

"Been getting by on friendship for too long, huh? Gotta start pulling my weight, huh? Need to write a "PROPER" Top X, and "no Alien allowed", huh?"

Lo empties her purse onto the desktop and finds a pretty good sized bottle of Herradura Anejo along with pens, loose change, about 8 debit cards, gum wrappers and several checkbooks. She smiles, takes a good sniff, and then looks for a Dixie cup or other container to use so she can sip the good stuff. She finally finds a Solo Cup and she pours her self a snout while she begins typing.

"So I gotta write a Top X by myself, huh. And I gotta follow the RULES, huh? Lessee here.... Must be about HobbyInSomeWay. It HelpsIfItWillAppealToThe OtherWritersOfHOP. Be Specific. No Help from ThatAlien. and.... FEATURE BLOGS YOU HAVE NEVER FEATURED BEFORE."

Lo takes a good, long sip on her golden liquid, and begins reciting, to herself, the blogs for Top X this week.

1.) Corbiana Prime : Eldar Ressurected

Lauby should like that one. It's all those fancy SpaceElves -so pretty. Rediscovering hobby after a long time is also a bonus. Hobby AND Xenos stuffs should go well.

2.) Garganthar : Painting Updates And More- Hobgoblins and Lava Bases

Von should like this one. It's got those fun Hobgoblins and fancy bases and such. Turkish gamer, to boot. Nice!

3.) Paint Bard : Almost There, Almost There

This one's for Brent...if he's still part of our crew... I can't even see if he has a desk.. since...

well...

she makes finger quote motions

FIRE BAD....

4.) Send Three Squads To Help : Magnetizing Carnifex

Well despite that model being a deathdealing bitch to take on, this is a nice tutorial on magnetizing a mini. Definitely HobbyRelated! Von used to like Cryxx, so; bonus?

Lo is sipping away at her drink and is on her way to LitUp as she continues. She checks the paper to make sure it doesn't say "no swearing" and proceeds.

5.) Do You Have A Flag : Custom Space Marine Draco Banner

Another Brit, doing fine HobbyWork. With a PAPERCLIP! A man after my own heart, knows how to use office supplies to make art and not UGLY---

Dethtron would probably like this- I mean, it's home made instead of spending lots of cash. Plus, it fits into a very metal theme. Yeah, Dethy should love this.

She glares around the office in a very specific manner, noting a lack of "pretty".  She looks one more time in her purse and finds several bottles of OPI polish. She gets a decidedly wicked grin but continues along with her assignment.

6.) The Istvaanians : More Mutants Sighted

This one should make my Xenos buddy happy. I mean, Choas is awesome, and this is tons of fun hobby stuffs the guy is doing. He didn't care what the rules said! He just made things up. Yeah, that sounds like stuff SinSynn would like.

Lo has given up on sipping her beverage and is now taking small gulps. She has moved into NotQuiteDrunk territory and seems to be talking to the paper. 

"I will totally bust into Prince songs whenever the heck I want. You can't stop me!"

7.) Turn 7 Wargaming : Battle Report - Tyranids vs Space Wolves

Ooooooooooh! A battle report! HOP used to be all about these. This should make everyone happy! Xenos, battle report, nice models... what else do they want?

8.) Farseer With a Brush : Cutting Costs: Sculpting Tools

Well, this one is perfect for Dethtron's Gaming on A Budget Series... it's a series, and it's talking about important things in a hobbyist's arsenal.... Yeah, good stuff here.

9.) FreshCoast40K : With A Little Help From My Friends

Ok, so this one isn't hobby related. But which one of us is gonna complain about pimping a friend's MUSIC when we do it all the time? Dethtron? Yeah, right. NORDOR will come kick his butt. Lauby? Uh, no way.  SinSynn? If he so much as TRIES to protest I'll tie him down and make him listen to Adele. And Von? After all the times I have subbed for him? Yeah. Didn't think so.


10.) Miasma of Pestilence : First Try At Airbrushing

Yeah, I better finish with some hobbying. I mean, I can only break the rules SOME of the time, right?  Well, the guy has a new toy and shows us all the stuff he did with it. Fancy!

With that, Lo seems to remember she was DoingSomething and looks back at her desk. Her mostly empty bottle of liquor and several small bottles of premium fashion lacquer sit in plain sight, and Lo begins to sing "Housequake" very loudly.

She begins painting the legs of her desk with Girly Glam and adds Number One Nemesis along the edge of the desktop. She smiles and then finishes off with SaveMe.

"yeah, that's fancy... and pretty.... much better. I think I need more booze, though."

FTB....

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Weekly Top X- Loquacious and SinSynn at The Office

Loquacious is in the HOP office again, typing away on some document that she seems to erase and retype every few minutes. Some kind of grumbled frustration and general sighing can be heard from her corner as she works.

In the midst of this annoyed pace, a "ding" is heard from the other side of the workspace.

'Lo looks up, realizes it is Lauby's computer, and goes back to work. She seems to actually get something done and mutters "almost done" as she types furiously. A second "ding" is heard, and Lo continues her frenzied writing. A third "ding", and then a fourth, seem to get under her skin.

She hops up from her chair and heads over to Lauby's desk. She looks for the speakers to his computer to turn them off when it dings again. She peers at the computer screen. We see her type in a password of some sort, and then

"Bingo! Ok, let me answer these real quick and make this thing shut up. I'm almost done and tired of hearing that noise. Plus, Lauby's busy. I'm sure he won't mind if I help out."

Lo starts typing and hits "enter" at least once when the phone rings. She looks around almost in surprise, and answers....

"House of Paincakes, Where WAAC is the FAAC, how may I help you?"




Lo's somewhat cheerful face takes on a more subdued tone, and she seems slightly downtrodden by the voice and words talking to her from the other end. She nods along as she listens to whatever chastisement is coming at her from the telephone when SinSynn slithers in the back door.

She waves at the tentacled Xenos and waves him over, mouthing "it's for you" as he enters and generally makes a mess as he looks around the office. He frowns and grabs the phone from Loquacious, who seems visibly relieved.

SinSynn listens to the voice on the phone for a few seconds.
'That Terran child is not a product of my loins,' he says, and hangs up. He looks over at Lo.'

'So, kiddo. Looks like El Jeffe left us in charge. Gotta tell ya, I'm surprised. I mean, we kinda have a reputation for screwing things up. Well, not me, not this time. I'm going to sit here, write my posts and keep my tentacles to myself. No trouble from ol' SinSynn this week, no sir.'

He sits at his desk. One of his tentacles grips a Handy-Wipe and begins cleaning up the trail of slime he leaves everywhere.

'Yup,' he says loudly enough for any nearby recording devices to hear (just in case this is some sorta test), 'I am a model of good behavior, I am.'

Just then he notices what Loquacious is doing.

'Isn't that Lauby's computer?'

Lo' doesn't answer. She's typing furiously.

'Wait a second,' SinSynn gulps, a rising sense of dread filling him, 'are you....answering his e-mails? Did you just click that link to help some guy reclaim his lost fortune? How on earth do you know Lauby's credit card numbers? Fer the love of....Lo' what are you doing?'

Lo' throws her head back and begins laughing maniacally.

SinSynn looks on in fear- he sorta knew this was coming. Lo's been working too hard lately. Filling in for Von, doing Top X and her posts both at the HOP and her own blog. All of that, in addition to the standard Terran female responsibility of crushing the hopes and dreams of all the males she comes in contact with.
The lovely, luminous Loquacious has snapped.

SinSynn races over to Lauby's desk, and attempts to wrestle the keyboard from her.

'No!' she shouts, 'Lauby won a lottery in Uganda! I just have to enter his credit card PIN to help him collect on it! You see? I'm helping!'

'Stop this madness immediately!' SinSynn yells back. He pulls the keyboard away from her, and it flies out of his hands, knocking over the broom with the funny hat and costume beard Von has been using as a decoy to convince everyone he's around. The broom falls into the drum set Dethtron keeps behind his desk, and a horrible, slow motion domino effect begins.

Cymbals crash down, snares roll into the coffee machine, which sparks a small fire that immediately sets the empty desk in the corner alight.
SinSynn stares in horrified disbelief.

'Wow. What did you do?' asks a suddenly coherent Loquacious.

SinSynn glares at her.

'What did I do? Are you surreal? I was trying to protect you from yourself! You lost it for a few minutes, kiddo. I was actually trying to do the right thing, for once.'
'Yeah,' answers Loquacious, 'I can see how well that worked out.'

'Shaddup, you.'

SinSynn and Lo' are standing on the street, watching the HOP offices burn down when a moving van rolls up. A very, very angry Lauby hops out.
Loquacious points at the Xeno.

'He did it.'

"I did manage to save his notes for Top X, though. That's gotta be good, right?"

The multi-tentacled alien can be seen in the background, making whirl-around-the-ear motions, pointing at Loquacious as some of his other appendages are soothing a sobbing Lauby.

Loquacious has pulled the slightly smoking notes from her very cute purse. She gently blows out the glowing embers and starts reading the scribbled notes to her internet boss.

Elfen Stuff Up: Randomly Hilarious  Check it out... silly Internet memes are silly.

Sound Officers Call : French Peninsular Troops   I gotta check it out.. I'm French... Plus, some cool lil' troopies here.

Fire Broadside : Dust Warfare Double AAR! OOH! Dust Warfare, with cool terrain and stuffs. Plus, battle reports. Pew, pew, pew!

Touched By Greatness : Daemons in 6th Thoughts Xenos thoughts, for the game-that-shall-not-be-named. This Irish dude has my approval merely on alien presence on his blog.

Capture and Control : Hobby Blitz - Necron Army in 5 Days, Day 4 Moar Xenos! And it's hobby stuffs, too.

The Dice Abide : Winning Combinations with Eldar and Dark Eldar  Well, winning is fun. Plus Imperials getting crushed is da awesome.

Storm of Blades : Eldar Combat Patrol  Skirmish type games, Eldar, and cool paint job. Worth checking out.

My Life Isn't So Epic Dakini Tacbot for Infinity: Finished! So the dude is from Spain and loving the crap out of Infinity. I gotta enjoy his hobby groove.

Lauby, SinSynn and Loquacious stand and watch the blaze, with stupefied looks on their faces. As the building continues to burn, debris starts to blow out of the remaining shell. Slowly, a bottle tumbles in their direction, and Lauby catches a glimpse of the label.

He turns his gaze to Loquacious, who seems to be deliberately looking elsewhere. If she could whistle, she'd be doing a jaunty tune, but Lauby quickly susses out her feigned innocence.

"How many bottles of Leyenda del Milagro did you DRINK?"

Loquacious looks a little sheepish, but the screen starts to turn funny colors-maybe it's from the reflected lights of the fire trucks, or maybe it's from all the liquor... but... FTB....

**** This is all in fun. HoP is not going anywhere. Please tune in next time to see what happens***

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Weekly Top X- SinSynn and 'Lo are The Usual Suspects

It’s a quiet late afternoon in the hills of southern california. Secluded on a brushy incline is a lush white mansion, with white lace curtains lazily floating in the gentle breeze in various windows. Low along the outer wall of the compound, a dark figure skulks in an attempt to keep hidden along the hedges. The figure is somewhat disguised by a trenchcoat, but telltale tentacles poke out from the bottom of the coat. One of them holds a digital camera with an ultra-mega-super zoom lens attachment. The squidly arm is trying to hold the camera over the wall and keep steady. 

Kind of like this, only creepier. 

Over the wall, we get a glimpse of one the mansion’s inhabitants, piercing green eyes glaring steadily at something in our direction. The pouty mouth is seen forming the words “restraining order” before the face turns away and our view is cut short by another form. 

There’s a nebbish fellow with a bush jacket standing behind the tentacled form, smiling at SinSynn. The smile is a little strange, in a creepy, almost menacing way. There are Coke bottle glasses on the man’s nose, and he has a pocket protector holding several pens in his jacket.

“I finally found you! You’ve been very tough to find this week. What’s the deal with hanging out at Megan’s instead of HoP or WoW?”

“Shhhh, James! I’m stalking my future wife. Don’t worry, though, the restraining order stipulates that I hafta remain 100 yards from her at all times, and we’re currently standing 100 yards and one inch away, so we’re good”

“Crikey, that’s a relief. Listen, I just wanted to make sure everybody reads my Infinity posts. I heard you were writing Top X with Loquacious again, so I was hoping you would maybe mention them.”

“Sure thing, James. Not a problem. Warp Signal rocks. Say, buddy, can you hand me that telescope?”

“That’s not a telescope. THIS is a telescope...”

SinSynn stares in disbelief, and wonders how that thing fit in a bush jacket.

“Fer the love of...you Aussies don’t do anything halfway, do ya?”

“No sir we do not. By the way, on my way here I passed an odd man sitting in a corner. He said he was keeping it warm for you.”

“Oh, that’s my friend Captain Kellen. Yeah, I’ll probably need a place to hide shortly. Good thing he’s nearby.”

“I also passed a very angry young woman with a mohawk brandishing a pitchfork. She inquired about your location...”

SinSynn visibly pales.

“Was she British?”

“I do believe she was. She said she wanted to discuss your opinions regarding scantily clad models, among other things.”

SinSynn begins hastily packing his spying equipment into the various pockets of his trenchcoat.

“James, if you wanna live, I suggest you run. Run now, far and fast.”

James is no fool; he and SinSynn beat a rapid retreat.

The scene cuts away from the pair of fugitives to the outside of a small apartment in the heart of Chicago. A heavyset woman sits outside, looking with wist and aspiration at several glorious Wreck Age models. She is taking pictures like a madwoman, and humming “Sweet Home, Chicago” as she does.

Her cell phone vibrates in her pocket, and she picks it up.

“What?!” She whispers angrily at the device.

“Yo. I’m in a little bit of trouble and I need you to come pick me up. Where you at?”

“Of course you do. I’m in Chicago.”

“*WHO* are you spying on now? I thought that Gentleman guy told you to leave him alone.”

“Um. It’s research. Yeah. Research. I gotta know about the latest products, and he’s got an inside track on Wreck Age. If I come get you, we gotta come back here so we can bother Dethtron.”

“I dunno about that, kiddo. Dethy’s been all kindsa busy lately, doing too much on not enough time.”

“Well, fine. I’m gonna go see Lauby in his hellhole one last time before he comes back home. I *think* SpecialLadyFriend has forgiven me for last time. Maybe.”

“I need a ride. Come get me, and then we can go wherever. I just need outta here. And I got a friend.”

SinSynn turns to James.

“Ok, I got us a ride outta here.”

Suddenly, in the distance, a great din can be heard. A woman’s voice, shouting ‘bollocks’ as she forward slashes and chews her way through the underbrush.
SinSynn and James exchange a glance.

“We need to hide,” they say together.

“I know a place,” SinSynn decides, “it should be safe.”

They make their way over to Frontline Gamer’s blog, and tuck themselves underneath a Sunday Sermon.

SinSynn looks over at James, as he pulls a wall of text over himself.

“I hope Captain Kellen is ok.”

“He should be alright, his corner seems pretty solid.”

“True dat. I sure do miss Frontline. Been a while since I’ve had a good argument with him, that knucklehead.”

“I’m sure he’ll return in due time. Brits are pretty tenacious.”

SinSynn makes this face: -_-

“Yeah, I’ve noticed that.”

They look up, as they hear the sound of the Lo’Copter approaching.

Loquacious lands nearby and beats the wall of text with her very cute purse.

“C’mon outta there. We gotta go visit some other guys and then turn in our time sheets. Where did HE come from?”

‘Lo is pointing at James S, who is skulking behind SinSynn.

SinSynn flashes his trademark alien grin.

“I ran into him while I was out and about. He’s cool. So where are we going next?”

‘Lo seems more than a little frustrated and takes a deep calming breath.

“Didn’t he follow us home the other day? How did he know where you are?”

SinSynn seems to be thinking for a moment, an obvious stretch for the cephalopod.

“Oh yeah, he was at our place the other day. I thought you like, invited him for cookies or sumpthin.”

‘Lo shakes her head and mutters something about knuckleheads.

James S smiles brightly, but again with a slightly creepy look on his face.

“Cookies? Oh, can I come over? I LOVE cookies! And a sarnie! I want a sarnie.”

‘Lo gives herself a facepalm and then squarely stares at her Xeno friend.

“You know this kind of thing is only enabling his stalker tendencies. Maybe we need new stuffs to check out instead of our normal haunts, so those people don’t think WE are stalkers...”

The goofy alien squishes about, his excitement visible.

“New stuffs? What stuffs? I love stuffs! Lemme see!”
"Painting Santuary has a pretty cool Infinity Review. You should totally check it out. Take James S with you, maybe.

And, bro... this one is just for you. You have to see what Cameron made. It's...creepily beautiful. "

"Oh SNAP! An octopus. Cool!"


"Then for James S, since all the wildlife in Oz is so scary, maybe you might like this... I mean rats are cool and all... but with weapons? I dunno."

James S perks up. 


"Hey! Plastic Crack- the guy's got the right idea. Crikey!"

"And I know the Imperium 'iz boring', but this stuff over at Darkened Visions is pretty cool. I love scenery."


The trio of troublemakers begin debating the merits of various stalking techniques and how to keep a safe distance while oohing and aahing over the cool things at the newfound blogs as we fade out to this important message:

Stalking is serious and creepy. Don't do it. This was a reenactment done all in fun.

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