6th Edition: Reign of the Fluffy Bunnies

Shhhhh!
Hello, everyone. Hamster here. SinSynn is sleeping.
He's very tired. Prior to this weekend, he's had exactly one day off in the past three weeks. For the last twelve days, he's been doing double shifts, more or less. He's really beat, so I figured I'd write the intro this week, and we'd let him catch a few more minutes of shuteye.

So, ummm...Hai!
I'm the Hamster That Lives In SinSynn's Head. I spin the wheel that makes his thoughts. Without me and my wheel, this space would be empty and vacant. SinSynn doesn't have a lot in the way of brains, as you may have surmised already, so my job is by no means an easy one. My wheel is old, and rusty...and it squeaks something awful. It's drafty in here, too...
But, hey- it ain't all bad. I've got my nest, which is made from the leftover pages of various 'Men's Magazines' that featured Megan Fox. All the Megan Fox pictures have been removed, naturally. Some end up getting laminated (so they clean easier...*shiver*), and others end up as part of the Shrine...
...Oh, whoops...I'm not supposed to talk about the Shrine...After all, we're trying to convince that Federally-Appointed Psychiatrist that we're 'getting better.' 
Y'now...Court Ordered Mandates to meet, and alla dat.

Right- what say I show you around a bit?

*Watch yer step. It can get kinda freaky in here*

To yer immediate left and right you can see the emergency exits, which he refers to as his 'primitive Terran audio receptors,' and I call his earballs.
If you look to the front, you can see the housings for his stalked, multi-lensed, occular appendages. Naturally, he hasta keep these hidden most of the time, and we make do with a reasonable facsimile of what the Terrans use. Normally, that gets projected through his Terran-Eye-Thingies to that big screen between the housings, but since our boy is passed out, well...

Over here we have his Dream Monitoring Station, but as usual it's only showing about 500 channels of 'Megan Fox plays strip Infinity with Alexis Krauss,' and one channel that just keeps showing 'Legends of the Fall,' over and over again.

*Iz really gud movie, dat's all -_-*

Oh, look, channel 69. Alexis won. Here come the tentacles...Oh, great, now there's gonna be all kindsa...secretions, and I'll be stuck mopping this place down again...
Y'know what? Can you hit that red button in front of you there? The one marked 'wake the hell up'?
Thanks.

HAMSTER?

Yes? I'm here. Wassup? How ya feeling?

I'M BEAT. DID YOU INTERRUPT MY DREAM, RIGHT AS IT WAS ABOUT TO GET GOOD, AGAIN?

I have no idea what yer talkin' about, buddeh. I was writing the intro fer yer post, that's all.

UH-HUH. RIGHT. WELL...WHATEVS. BACK IN MY HEAD, WE'VE GOT A POST TO WRITE.

Roger that.

*This was 40k 5th Edition...*

Hey, folks. SinSynn here.

Thanks for letting me get a couple o' extra Z's. I really needed 'em. I'm gonna need some extra energy for this post, cuz I've got a buncha stuff to say this week.
Let's begin, shall we?
...Since, clearly, I'm not gonna get to the grand finale of that dream...
Sigh.
...Hamsters.
Waddayagonnado?

So, hey...40k Fluffy Bunnies.
Gloat much?
I mean, really now. You guys are way too...chuffed. Yeah, I said it.
Some of the comments I've seen around the web are making me think youse guys are entirely too happy. And not only that- some of you are really getting a sadistic lil' thrill at rubbing the Competitive Types noses in it.
Wow.

One of the strangest things about the whole 'WAAC vs FAAC' drama is that the majority of the time, Fluffy Types are portrayed as the poor, unfortunate, downtrodden martyrs that they totally aren't.
Competitive Types didn't come storming into the FLG's like a horde of blood-crazed Mongols, overturn the game tables and stomp on everybody's lovingly-painted minis. They're not out to 'ruin the hobby.'
I mean, really now. 5th Edition saw the inception of events as varied as NOVA and the BoLS Con, and Adepticon grew accordingly. 'Ard Boyz became a yearly fiasco, as well. Sure, it was horrible, but every year  until the Space Wolf Codex came out I had a hell of a good time complaining about what a disaster it was.
...and then, of course, Games Workshop cancelled it...

*Oddly, it wasn't cancelled due to the awkward title and innuendo. Am I 'Ard Enuff?  Uhhh...*

I never understood how Competitive Types could possibly 'ruin the hobby,' but I guess 6th Edition has granted the hobby a reprieve, huh?
6th Edition 40k was definitely a gift from Games Workshop to Fluffy Bunnies everywhere, and an arrow to the knee of every Competitive 40k player anywhere. And while the Competitive Types are lamenting what was, the Fluffy Bunnies can look forward to...
...
What, exactly?

Don't get it twisted, folks- I am one of the many who doesn't really fall into either camp. I never attended an event with any anticipation of winning anything, but I did go to Tournaments...
I always thought 'Tournament' wasn't the right word to use for Hobby Events. Look at the stigma surrounding that word, and it's application, in our twisted lil' community now. There's so much more to spending a glorious day in the company of a big ol' group of your fellow gamers than can be properly implied by the word 'Tournament.'
'Event' is just so much better, in my mind...which DOES happen to have a Hamster living in it, so...yeah...

I can tell you, however, that walking down the rows of tables, admiring the armies, chatting with folks as you walk by, greeting friends, talking smack with rivals, and rocking the kind of hard-core gaming that sees you barely survive the day on junk food and soda (and be thankful for it) is simply a beautiful thing.

I guess Tournaments are kinda like that tree that Yoda takes Luke to in 'The Empire Strikes Back,' in a way. I'm certainly not gonna BS you, and say that no one brings a lightsaber to the tree. I've been to enough of them now that I have no problems walking away from a game here and there simply because I go to these things to have fun, and occasionally I bump into one of 'those' gamers.
The last dozen or so events I attended were Flames of War Tournaments- I can't begin to express how miserable a Tournament game of FoW can be when you get matched up against mister 'Serious Bizness,' but trust me when I tell you that I really do find it better to just concede the game immediately, and spare myself the frustration.

The Ultimate Rival has gotten mad at me a couple of times, actually, claiming that I could possibly skew the Tournament results by handing someone a victory and blah, blah, blah...
Yeah, whatevs.
This guy bought a lightsaber to the tree, and I didn't. Waddayagonnado?

*WAAC jerks they are*

But what kind of kingdom are the Fluffy Bunnies inheriting now?

The coming of 6th Edition definitely tore the final threads that bound the Fluffy Bunnies and the Competitive Types together. The Allies Matrix is directly responsible for that.
Previously, everyone that played Codex A suffered together, as one. If Codex A got an update, it's players either rejoiced together (Imperial Guard, Space Wolves), or wailed in misery together (Tyranids). No matter which side of the fence you fell on, there was at least that tenuous connection between the Fluffy Bunnies and Competitive Types.
Yes- even the Competitive Types have love for their army of choice, and yes- even the Fluffy Bunnies want a 'good' Codex, with multiple builds and units that don't suck.
...And then came the Allies Matrix...

Fluffy Bunnies saw it as a boon- now they can finally build that dream army...
Competitive Types saw it as a boon- now they can finally build their dream army...
Unfortunately, the difference between those two armies pretty much exemplifies the rift between the two groups.
Sigh.

Games Workshop has pulled all their Tournament Support, because clearly Tournaments are only for big ol' meanies, but...where are we supposed to like, gather, and do our thing?
Seriously, though- comic book people have their conventions, people that like the old TV show Xeena (and really, who doesn't?) have a convention, fer cryin' out loud...
Pretty much anybody that's into anything gets together, and does their thing. Often times, they even receive support and promotion from the creators/owners/manufacturers/publishers of the thing. Go figure.
Going one step further- their thing, including their gatherings or what have you, is often aided in many aspects by the creators/owners/manufacturers/publishers of the thing. An online presence is a given, for example. The vast majority of creators/owners/manufacturers/publishers of any given thing happily engage in open discourse with their fanbase, seeking to promote it. To grow it. To ensure that next year's gathering is bigger and better than this one, and their thing continues to be successful, and (wait for it) makes money.

Since I've already used 'chuffed' in this post, I might as well use 'arsed' as well...

Games Workshop can't be arsed to engage in any sort of discourse with their fanbase. Period. We know this. I mean, unless it's to send you a Cease & Desist Order for daring to string the words 'Space' and 'Marine' together in a sentence.
-_-

*Yeah, here...take my money, Games Workshop. Dammit I hate myself*

It's kinda hard to keep a straight face and attempt to accuse a company like Games Workshop of some nebulous fanboy charge like 'violating the spirit of the hobby,' or somesuch, I know but...what else can I do?

Their latest little dick move saw them send letters everywhere announcing their newest sales policy- retailers are no longer allowed to break open GW boxes and sell bitz or parts of any kind. Whole boxes, only.
Which isn't that bad, right? Cuz GW totally sells bitz on their website...
-_-

Why would they do this? Why do they keep doing things like this?
Somebody, please help me understand WHY?

Some of the things they've done in the past 5 years have been subtle- the move to bigger armies, more expensive kits...
The way they slowly made the 'Specialist Games' line disappear...
Imperial favoritism...(shush, you. It's a thing)

And then other things they do are just so blatantly distasteful to me that I just shake my head in wonder- Lawsuits...
Their lousy terrain kits suddenly becoming 'must-haves' (cuz nobody would ever buy a Sky Shield otherwise)...
And they way they've trained us to not only anticipate yearly price increases, but to accept them...What the? How'dat happen?

Games Workshop is now doing everything they can to attempt to ensure that the only place I can buy their product is from them, and that there is no chance that I could possibly receive any sort of discount should I do so.
But... why? How does this benefit them? Cuz I'll be honest- I will not be paying 15 dollars for a single Chaos Biker. I won't. Honestly, Games Workshop figures are ridiculously overpriced, and at this point the only way I was willing to buy them was with at least a 10% price cut...preferably 15 to 20%, to tell you the truth.

You know what I can do? I can walk away from this the same way I walk away from any other game I don't wanna play. What, does GW really think they're the only game around now? In the last two years I've given way more money to Battlefront, the Plastic Soldier Company and now Corvus Belli.
My pre-order Ko-Dali is on her way! Woot!

*I mail ordered about 150 bucks worth of Infinity stuffs this week. It could've been GW's money, if things were different*

At this point, I wonder if 40k is worth getting back into. I honestly don't feel like spending the money it's gonna take to build a proper Chaos Army, even though I am interested in taking on the project. Also, I am really, really deep into Infinity right now. Infinity is amazing.
Corvus Belli is working hard to attract my dollars, and look- there they go. Games Workshop seems to be doing the exact opposite, and despite myself I find myself harboring a tiny spark of curiosity about the upcoming Tau Codex.
Blah.

Hating on Games Workshop is SO last year, however. Now it's more 'point and laff,' and go spend yer money elsewhere. I no longer feel obligated to play 40k- I'm well past that stage. In today's market, shouldn't GW be pursuing my business? Shouldn't they be trying to convince me to come back to 40k?
Other companies are telling me they love me every day on FaceBook. Where you at, GW?

Pfft! The next time I hear from GW, it will likely be to announce this year's price increase, amirite?
:P

Amazingly, one of Games Workshop's biggest resources remains untapped and virtually ignored altogether. Worse yet, a large part of it has seemingly been discarded completely- the community that has developed around the game. Thousands of talented people with a a cornucopia of skill sets that would happily assist in the promotion of Games Workshop products.
But, y'know- it's hard not to laugh at the camera when yer reading, 'Finecast is an amazing material' off the cue cards, prolly....

Sigh, GW...c'mon, give me something to get amped about!

 I used to get amped at new releases, but the prices are so prohibitive now. Worse yet, the other games I play now will pretty much win out every time, since not only am I more enthused about them than I am about 40k, but overall they're less expensive and I get far more bang for my buck.

Over the next couple of weeks, the Hamster That Lives In My Head and I will be doing some spinning over whether or not we can be arsed to bother with 40k, and the huge investment in money, time and labor it represents, for a questionable return which includes continued frustration with Games Workshop and their ever-questionable corporate decisions...or could I possibly be chuffed to see what the Fluffy Bunnies will do, now that it's their turn.


Until next time, folks- Exit with catchphrase!

- SinSynn
(and The Hamster That Lives In His Head)

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Blogging, Responsibility, and Hamsters

Hey folks, SinSynn here.

So, is the internet like, the most amusing thing ever, or what?

No matter who you are, and what you're into, you can log on and quickly connect to like-minded individuals. This is a tremendous boon to folks with 'niche' interests, to say the least.

*But keep a porno tab open anyway*

I suppose it's fair to say that the entirety of the hobby scene can be viewed as niche, but whatevs. A quick look at my history and bookmarks would tell you that the vast majority of my internet time is spent on hobby blogs.
Seriously, some of Frontline Gamer's posts take a hot minute to read, as opposed to my average visit to TentacleViolation.com, which are generally over in, well...substantially less time. Regardless, after I clean off my monitor, I'm far more likely to have Frontline's words rattling around in my head than I am to remember what I just disgraced my self over.

*Prolly sumpthin' like this, I dunno*

Not to discount the contributions of all the artists and animators that strive to actually create the tentacle hentai that provides me with several dozen seconds of blissful entertainment annually (don't you judge me), it's just that the blogs I read tend to get the Hamster That Lives In My Head spinning, whereas tentacle hentai...doesn't.
Oh, sure, it produces a predictable biological response, but a few extra-absorbent paper towels and a minute of shameful cleanup later...poof! It fades away.

A good blog post discussing our hobby, on the other hand, can produce a myriad of reactions from me, and stick in the craw for a while, as well.
Sure, there are about a billion things on the internet that would do this just as well (maybe better), but...meh.
I could go on any news site, ever, and I'm a hundred percent certain something will piss me off pretty quickly. Or maybe there will be some heart-warming feel good type of story to lift my spirits, or whatever, but...that's not really my thing.
This hobby, our little niche, is my thing. OHMYGODILOVEITSOMUCH.

Like any other Xeno trying to pass as human and attempting to destroy this miserable planet, I sorta...have a life. Not that I want to, mind you, it's that I have to. If I am ever to achieve my goal of total world domination, I've gotta get off my butt and go do stuffs
Sigh @ responsibilities, huh? Waddayagonnado?
...suffer, apparently. 

*I'm gonna walk the dog when the Crazy Lady tells me to (and prolly stop at the store, too), that's what I'm gonna do*

Inevitably, my internet time is like any other of my 'times' - it's limited. Whether it's responsibilities or rooftop barbeques, there's sure to be something else goin' on that prevents me from reading every post I'd like. It is what it is.
It's life.
*shrug*

Through some bizarre twist of fate, I became a blogger.
Over the last year or so, I have pretty much...made a menace of myself, I guess. I never really gave much thought to doing anything but that which amused me. I write what I feel like writing, and say what I want to say. I have fun doing it.
In the beginning, I felt like I was doing it purely for myself. It was another thing tied in with my internet time. Since my internet time is based around 'fun,' and not 'real life serious business' (which actually is serious business), I chose to get a lil' crazy with it.
'Hai, I'm SinSynn.'
*grins an overly toothy Xenos grin, and waves a squirming tentacle in your direction*

After a while, the strangest thing happened. People...started reading my stuffs. Believe you me, I am at a complete and absolute loss as to why this is, but I can tell you that it makes the multi-valved chambers of my fluid exchanging organs feel warm, and oddly fuzzy.

*I know I'll never compete with da cats, though. Cats rule da internet*

To my complete and utter surprise, readers, bloggers and all manner of hobbyists and humanity alike regularly leave comments on my posts, and these comments often burgeon up into lengthy back and forth discussions which are often far more interesting than the actual post that spawned them, honestly.
0_o
I know, right?

For the longest, I carried on in my usual manner. Tentacle jokes and Megan Fox pics, occasionally interspersed with more thoughtful musings. Then I went ahead and kicked the proverbial hornet's nest with the now-infamous 'Sexy Models' post.
No link. We're not going there again...for a while, at least. Heh.

Two things happened following that post that have made me think about blogging in more 'real life' terms.

Firstly, a blogger by the name of Gotthammer stated that he will no longer be reading my posts. I initially shrugged this off, but have found myself unable to let it go for some reason.
I found myself visiting his excellent blog, Collegia Titanica, and I can't help but like both Gotthammer and his lil' corner of the web. He seems like a cool cat.
Maybe we'll never see eye to eye on everything, but whatevs. He's a hobbyist. Kin of mine, in a sense.
I wanna tell him I'm sorry. I wanna tell him come back.
Sigh.
I haz sad.

Secondly, a gentleman by the name of Zeronyne left a comment on last week's Top X and said this:

"As a father of two daughters (7 and 10) who love miniatures and CCGs, I find it disconcerting that many (not all) gamers are so socially ill-equipped that they cannot tone down F-bombs and misogynistic/homophobic speech around children, or for that matter, people they simply don't know."

That single sentence hit me in the head like a ton of bricks.

*I'm under there, somewhere*

Suddenly I felt so awful for posting 'Sexy Models' that I could barely stand myself. Seriously.
The Hamster That Lives In My Head was spinning furiously, churning out thoughts that made me very, very uncomfortable.
'What if this guy's kids saw that post? What does it say about this hobby? What does it say about me?'
When he finally stopped spinning to take a water and kibble break, he just glared for a bit, then turned his back on me.
Dear lord, what have I done?

'Oh, whatevs,' I snipe at him, 'go ahead and be mad. It was all just jokes, dude...just jokes.'
He looks over his fuzzy shoulder for a second, and then turns away again.
'I'm not mad, dude,' he replies in a low, sad voice,' I'm just disappointed.'
'For what? For why?' I respond belligerently, 'It all turned out ok in the end, didn't it?'
'Is that the excuse you're running with? If it's all ok, why do you have me spinning like crazy over Gotthammer leaving and  Zeronyne's comment?'
....
....I really hate the Hamster, sometimes.

I hear him sigh.
'Look, dude,' he continues, 'this isn't even about you. You're part of something bigger, now. You need to realize that. You should be elevating your game, and instead you take a cheap shot at chasing mass appeal. Lucky for you, you have readers and peers that will call you on it. Count your blessings, and do better. Try harder.'
I digest this for a moment.
'You're not gonna go and quote Spider Man on me, are you?' I ask, trying my best to appear cavalier about the whole thing.
'Voltaire is responsible for that quote, you idiot,' says the Hamster around a mouthful of kibble,'I would've thought you knew that, being of French descent an' all.'
There is a moment of awkward silence. The Hamster finally facepalms himself.
'.....Because Voltaire was French, fer cryin' out loud.'

*I totally knew that*

Not that I think that, as a blogger, somehow what I write has any great bearing or influence on...anything, really...cuz I don't. I'm just a hobbyist. I use my posts to share my wacky, somewhat skewed view of this thing we do to entertain, not to try and appear elitist, like I somehow know...anything.
I don't, really.

What I do think is that it pays to heed the good people who make the effort to comment on my posts. If Gotthammer is leaving, and Zeronyne is concerned about his daughters and I'm actively contributing to the mess that may drive them away from our hobby, then maybe I'm doing it wrong....

Sigh...the Hamster is spinning again, and this post is already long.


Until next time, folks- Exit with catchphrase!

-SinSynn

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The Weekly Top X - Cats & Cowgirls from SinSynn and Loquacious

'She's late,' says the Hamster for the umpteenth time.

'I know,' I reply testily, 'you've made that abundantly clear. Why are you even HERE? This doesn't concern you.'

'Everything you do concerns me, buddeh. I live inside your head, remember?'

I sigh deeply.

'How did that ever happen, anyway,' I wonder aloud (for the umpteenth time, it should be noted), 'I'm positive you never signed a lease.'

'Don't worry yer pretty lil' head about it, darlin,'' the Hamster replies smugly, 'just hope Lo' comes through with the goods.'

'She said she'd be here...she'll be here,' I tell the Hamster, 'and she'll have the stuff. The good stuff.'

The Hamster plants himself down on his fuzzy butt, crosses his arms, and squeaks quietly to himself for a moment. It is a remarkable display of patience...for him.

I know it won't last.

Roughly two and a half seconds later, he raises his fuzzy lil' Hamster head and says, 'she's late.'

I sigh deeply.

Loquacious skids through the doorway in what can only be described as a “wrecky” fashion, visibly perturbed. She has a long list trailing out of her “super cute” purse; just a little reminiscent of the White Rabbit's to do list.

She pulls out a brown bag which just barely conceals a bottle and looks as if she is about to hand it to SinSynn when she stops short, seeing the Hamster fully for the first time.

“Oh shit. I recognize that look. That is an official rodent PISSED OFF look. What did I do to deserve the ire of a fuzzy animal?”

'Well, well,' SinSynn announces, 'look what the cat dragged in. See? I told you she'd be here.'

'THERE'S A CAT? WHERE'S THE CAT,' shrills the Hamster, panicked,' THERE BETTER NOT BE A CAT!'

SinSynn and Loquacious both pause for a second, and stare at the Hamster.
'Dude, there's no cat, ' SinSynn tells him gently, ' it's a figure of speech.'

He then turns to Loquacious, who's sort of...reeling in place.

'Are you ok, kiddo? You're a lil' late. And...jeez- DID a cat drag you in here?'
'YOU SAID THERE WAS NO CAT,' squeals the Hamster.

 “Uh...er...no. Wow. Um. Phew.”

Loquacious shakes her head fiercely and takes a big swig from the barely hidden bottle. The liquid courage appears to help clear her head, and she seems a little more “with it”.

“Sorry, SinSynn. Sorry Hamster. I have teenagers that live in my house. I don't really wanna get into it. What am I late for, again?”

The Hamster seethes at Loquacious just for general measure, and then sulks just for spite. SinSynn steps in to help smooth things over when he notices the Queen of Words doing her best to get lit out of a brown bag. He becomes visibly agitated, and waves his tentacles at Lo in a very menacing way.

'Fer cryin' out loud, Lo,'' shouts SinSynn,' are you surreal?'

The Hamster grunts, 'she's always surreal, buddeh. Time's running out, y'know.'

Loquacious looks confused.

'TOP X' yell SinSynn and the Hamster together.

SinSynn glares for a moment, and Loquacious very slowly begins slipping the brown paper bag, and the (mostly empty) bottle it contains back into her (apparently very cute) purse.

'Yeah, that's right, kiddo,' continues SinSynn, 'we told El Jeffe we'd do Top X, and that we wouldn't mess it up...remember? And we can't blame the Hamster this time. That'll only work once.'

The Hamster facepalms himself, 'I'm dealing with idiots.'

SinSynn points a tentacle at him, 'relax, pal...we'll get 'er done.
He turns to Loquacious, 'so, waddayagot?'

Loquacious seems totally unfazed by the liquor, but definitely shows signs of regret.

“Crap, we did promise Lauby. Are you sure we said we wouldn't mess it up? That seems...unpossible... with us. Oh well.  I'm gonna try to make this up to you, SinSynn, seeing as it's probably my fault this time. Here we go.”

Lo rummages in her handbag and pulls out the very long list. She looks it over, murmuring as she does.

“I have all kinds of goodies for you here, featuring all your favorite stuffs. Good writing, Xenos, Infinity, even maybe some hot chicks. This should maybe earn me a *little * forgiveness...?”

1)  Porky’s Expanse:  GW, Wizards, and Wheels

Porky's writing again... I’m kinda glad. I missed that guy.

Lo tilts her head, as if she hears a voice ….

“What?  This is nice, but you want moar? Sigh....”

2) Warhammer 39,999: Magnitizing Tervigons

Xenos? I know you love Xenos...  No? No 40K, huh.... I know I have something for you…

3) Dr. Willet’s Workshop : Choas Dwarf Skull Cracker -WIP
This is Fantasy, and sorta Xenos… and really badass.. Fantasy isn't 40K... oh, No GW. Gotcha.

4) Hero’s Gaming Blog  : Dust Warfare Recap
It’s not 40K! It’s Dust Warfare, and pretty cool. You want more, though…

5) Col Shofer’s Blog : Ancient Goodies
Another not 40K offering for you, buddeh…. Huh…don’t like historicals much, huh?


6)  Fire Broadside: Painting Infinity
It's infinity, with Xenos!!!

7) FD Mini Painting :  Bushido WIP
Ninjas!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, so it's a Bushido dude. Still nice.

8) Paradox0n  : Modular Gaming Table Part 2
This is all kinds of hobby stuffs for you, Mr. Home Depot =)

9) Weird War II : Cowgirls at War
Maybe you would like some girl on girl action for the win?

The Hamster is staring intently at the last post, muttering dirty little squeaks to himself when his reverie is broken...

SinSynn is at his ear, yelling at him.

'Dude, I've been calling you for the last ten minutes. Did she bring the good stuff, or what?'

'What, where,' the startled Hamster replies quickly, 'is there a cat?'

Another sigh from SinSynn, 'no...for the last time, there is no cat. Did she hook it up or what?'

The Hamster hastily closes his browser, after bookmarking something with...naked cowgirls fighting Nazis?

'Yes....yes....this will suffice,' he mutters, 'this will suffice nicely. El Jeffe will be pleased.'

SinSynn seems to relax visibly, 'well that's good news. See? Loquacious came through, buddeh.'

The Hamster is already leaving, although it looks like it will take a while for him to do it, since he's dragging the laptop with him. Hamsters have a hard time moving laptops....it's a weight to mass ratio thing. Laptop > Hamster.

SinSynn and Loquacious watch him, bemused.

'Where ya goin,' buddy,' asks SinSynn, 'and where ya takin' the laptop?'

'Never you mind,' grunts the Hamster, 'but if you must know, I think that last post needs some more...reviewing. Now go 'way...ya bother me.'

It takes the Hamster about an hour to push the laptop into another room. SinSynn and Loquacious watch the entire time.

When the door finally slams, there are several minutes of silence, followed by...rhythmic, squishy, squeaky sounds.

SinSynn turns to Loquacious.

'I think we need a cat.'

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SinSynn and the Helpful Hamster

Hey, folks, SinSynn here.

 The problem with having a Hamster living in your head is that sometimes, he gets out.

Well, that's one of the problems. I don't wanna get into the whole 'waste management' issue.
Trust me, you don't wanna know.

So lemme tell you what happened the other day.


I'm sleeping, and....

'Sinsynn....wake up.'

....

'Oh, fer the love of....WAKE UP!'

'What? Huh? I was nowhere near Miss Fox's house last night, officer. That sample you're holding did not come from me...'

'Sigh...wake up, you moron. We've got stuffs to do.'

'Mmmmf. Wait....Hamster? What are you doing out? And...what time is it?'



I flinch as he turns on the light, and groggily rub the sleep from my eyes, trying to focus on the furry lil' guy. He's perched on the nightstand next to the bed, looking at me with his typically belligerent gaze.

He crosses his paws over his pudgy belly (too much kibble, not enough spinning), and adds 'withering' to the glare.
'I'm here to help motivate you, remember? We've got a Tournament to go to this weekend, and we need to do some modeling...unless you want to show up with unpainted stuffs.'

My stalk-mounted ocular visual processing orbs continue to adjust, and I notice the clock.
'Holy crap, dude! It's like, zero dark thirty! What the heck! The friggin' birds aren't even up yet! It's still dark outside!'

*Not even a pigeon in sight. They're still crashed out*

'We've got a lotta stuffs to do, buddy. Up and at 'em!'

Oh, help me. The Hamster seems like he's in a good mood, and he's excited and animated.
Not his usual grumpy, somewhat angry, loathsome self.
...This does not bode well.


I flop back down onto the bed, and attempt to cuddle the pillow.
'Mmmm...so comfy. Go 'way, Hamster. Lemme sleep.'

I hear his lil' fuzzy feet begin to pace back and forth upon the nightstand. His high-pitched, squeaky lil' Hamster voice takes on a serious tone.
He would be cute...if he wasn't so friggin' annoying.

'Loser boy, while you may be content to sleep, with your head laid comfortably in a puddle of your own drowsy drool, I feel obligated to remind you that you have consistently put off doing this for the past month, and now it's crunch time. You said you wanted to be prepared, this time. You wanted to do that basing, you wanted to hammer out some lists, you wanted to have your head in the game this time, you said.'

I roll over, and fold the pillow over my head.

'Remember last time, when a model fell of the base as you were setting up, and how you had to go around and beg for glue, because you didn't have any?'

I can still hear him through the pillow, but I pretend not to.

'I know you can hear me, knucklehead. Do I hafta bring up that one time, when you left Shadowsun on the Hobby Desk, and had to proxy her with a Space Mari-'

I pop outta the blankets, yelling.
'WE AGREED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT! EVER! LIKE YOUR BEDWETTING THING!'

The Hamster leaps upon the stack of Black Library and WWII books on the nightstand, in a Hamsterish attempt to 'get in my face.'
'THAT IS A GROSS EXAGGERATION, YOU FIEND!'

*If only we could be sure who the idiot is in my case. Personally I think it's the Hamster, but opinions vary*

'I didn't have a single spare model in my bag,' I pout, 'and someone loaned me that, that...thing! Just so I could get through the tournament. It's not my fault!'

The Hamster backs down a bit, and spares me a sympathetic glance.

'I know, buddy. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up. I know it's a painful memory.'


'Yeah, well...whatevs' I sniffle, 'great, I'm all awake now. I hope you're happy.'

The Hamster grins.
'I am, actually. We said we were gonna do it right this time, and we are. I'm gonna help. Unfortunately, we've only got a handful of days, because of your usual procrastination.'


'Don't blame me, pal,' I reply churlishly, 'blame World of Tanks...I really need that Jagdpanther, y'know.'

The Hamster is rubbing his temples already- eyes closed, taking deep breaths.
I still don't know why he does that when he deals with me. I'm a perfectly reasonable Xeno.

'Look, ' he says in a lecturing tone, 'no more messin' around, we've gotta-'


'Grind through the Stug and Jagdpanzer IV?'

The Hamster gives me a narrow-eyed stare.

'I swear to God yer an idiot,' he says flatly, 'and one day, I may very well kill you.'

'Ha,' I laugh, 'I'm just kiddin' around, Hamster. OK, fine, let's get started.'

He's said stuffs like that before, and I'm pretty sure he's joking around.
Pretty sure, anyway.

So the Hamster and I made a list, and got to it.
Y'know, the usual stuffs- pack all yer thingies (templates, markers, etc), we know the missions, so we followed the mighty GMort's advice, and formulated a Battleplan.

We made the proper sacrifices to the Dice Gods.
I'll miss you, Fluffy....

* I need those sixes, pal....sorry*

We scheduled test games with the Ultimate Rival, and we got psyched up.

Over the last few years, events like NOVA have pushed the competitive side of gaming more into the spotlight, and there's some perception that tournaments are 'serious business.'
I dunno, I don't really see it that way.

When viewed secondhand, through the internet, it seems like a lot of attention is payed to things like winners and losers, and lists and whatnot.
I tend to enjoy the posts that have lots of pics of the armies, or the ones with cool, funny stories...
Or even the ones highlighting tales of rivalries, misdeeds, and bitter accusations of silliness like 'slowplay.'
It's all a big hoot.

The thing is, I suppose these events are kinda like one of those things where you have to have 'been there.'
I've been to a bunch, so I know that this whole 'image' that 'competitive gaming' has garnered is basically a bunch of baloney.
It's friggin' gaming. How seriously can we possibly take it?

Yeah, I know there are some people who really do go to tournaments to actually 'win,' and really are 'WAAC,' or whatever, but I'm not about to let these guys bother me.


It's not like you can brag about being a mini gaming champ in the real world, after all.
'Hey buddy- I saw you on Regis.'Grats on the win!'
...
...Uh, no. That's not happening.

*You do not get one of these, even for winning NOVA*

And no, I'm not gonna be all like, 'you need to get out of the basement, and come to a tournament,' either.
Cuz to be honest, I'm just as happy playing in the Ultimate Rival's gaming garage, which might as well be a basement, amirite?

I can curse out loud there, and enjoy an adult beverage, after all. And I don't hafta get up at like five AM and travel for over an hour to do it.
What's not to love? Besides the Ultimate Rival, obviously. He's a jerk.
Nyah.

The thing is...no one aspect of our hobby is any more important than the other.
We celebrate the well painted army and the big tournament win equally, we read batreps and posts detailing drybrushing techniques.
We enjoy our rumor-mongering, or whatevs, and we complain and gush about stuffs incessantly.
There's always something amusing out there in our lil' sphere to grab my interest.

I don't lament my hobby growing, or changing, or what have you. I suppose these things are bound to happen. I try to see the bigger picture now, even though it can be tough to see the forest for the trees, sometimes.
-New army books will come, and occasionally throw a wrench in the works.
-Edition changes will show up, and invalidate my armies.
-Companies I love will ignore my wails of frustration.

But, on the other tentacle...
-New army books will come, and inject something new in the game.
-Edition changes will show up, and OHMYGODITWILLBECOOL.
-Companies I love will do cool stuffs, and it will be da awesome.


And I can go on writing hugely important diatribes about all of this, featuring a Hamster.

 

*And my future wife....and tentacle hentai*

Sigh...the Hamster is reminding me I've got teeny tiny lil' shrubs to put on bases, cuz I swore my lil' dudes would look cool this weekend.
...And, y'know, teeny tiny lil' shrubs are a big part of that...
How ludicrous is our hobby?
:D

Gotta love it.


Until next time, folks- exit with catchphrase!

-SinSynn

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