O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;- Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet
While the Bard had a point here, the modern world loves a name. Without the proper (and appropriate) noun to describe something, we wander about, apparently clueless and viewed as less than intelligent by our peers. There's a whole host of self-improvement classes aimed at helping people remember names.
There's something special about names and how we identify ourselves to the world. Knowing our name is one of the first things we learn, and we cue in on the value and importance of names at an early age. [Spend time with a two-year old. One of the first things they will tell you is their name.] Our names can convey a place and a purpose, like a touchstone. Names fill a cultural need that we rely on for a sense of grounding and security.
Although I detest labels and pigeon holing people into little boxes, I find names terribly comforting. I love organizing; and having a tag for something (and thus, a place for it to go) is a balm for my obsessive mind. My email in-box is a little insane- I have 20 plus labels, so that everything has a category or place. I do my best to remember names of people I meet, and I know more than a few people have commented on how good it feels to be remembered.
I have known a couple people who don't seem to NEED or identify with a specific name or label. They seem able to move through life as free form, adaptable beings. I envy them, their complete ease in any role or situation boggles my mind. (While this is not universally true for the folks that "don't care" about what they are called, it seems to be a hyper common trait to the group.) There are a very small minority of these people that completely defy nomenclature altogether. These talented and unusual folks actually seem to flaunt their straight out refusal to be tied to a label.
I'm not them.
I desperately want (and quite possibly need) some sort of definition; some kind of grace that gives me a place to be. I've bounced around a lot, with a variety of 'good for NOW' names or nicknames that have held me over while I try to find out "who I am".
Much of this problem is due to the fact that I loathe the name my mother gave me. it just doesn't feel like "me". It's the second hand couch that sits in the living room and clashes with the carpet. Perfectly functional, nothing wrong with it; just ugly.
Almost all my life, I've tried on different nicknames or tags, seeing how they fit. Most of them have been "Close"- or very appropriate for a specific time in my life. As a teen, while dating TheDude, I was "Mouse"- which worked just fine, as TheDude's nickname was "Rat". We got some really cute rodent themed wedding gifts, ans my all time favorite Christmas ornament is 2 little meece tucked into a stocking together.
But the name only worked for so long, as I "grew out" of being a mouse, and the time came to find another name. I've been through almost ten different self-appointed names, and each time I get a little closer to feeling comfortable and like I've found the right label for me.
At the moment, I'm really grooving on the Loquacious Aych tag. It hits on my love of words and weird letters, and it includes allusions to my "real" name. The "Aych" is a phonetic spelling of both my first and last initial, which I don't hate at all. It's possible life will change, and being identified as "that chick that talks a lot" will wear off- but for now, it fits and it's me.
I know there's more to me than just a lot of words- there's the wife, the mom, the sister, the friend, the lady who games (all noted in my profile). But the hardest to describe but most important part of myself, is the Muse/support person.
As grumhelden said: your specialty is what we used to call shaper/resourcer in the trendy psychobabble that in vogue when I went to university, in simple language, you're a glue that holds everything else together, but also much more.
I've yet to come across a more accurate descriptor for how I feel I fit into the world. There just doesn't seem to be a moniker that reflects that (that I've found, anyway).
I see other names (internet handles, logins,etc) and I find amusement and intrigue in the way I see others describing themselves to the world. Some are much funnier (ian!!! or Messanger of Death) than others (Brent) while some appear to be in jokes (Dethtron and Pointyman2000). There are a couple I simply don't understand [MM(esno), Jawaballs] and then folks like me that seem to be describing an aspect of themselves that they feel is at somewhat appropriate. I love them all, and find a lot of comfort in using names to describe all of you lovely folks to the family here in the way-too-frickin' cold plains of Illinois.
I'd love to hear what you think your name says about you, and what ideas you've gained from others' personalities based on their handles as well...
Be Well
Lo/Aych/that lady that talks a lot...
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