Where in the World Is Lantz- Seriously?

This week's Lantz related post will be decidedly Lantzless, as we didn't hear from him this week :(  Lantz, I hope you're ok and not suffering a slow Tuberculosis related death like Lauby is right now.  So, like over the weekend with the Weekly Whimsy, you're stuck with me, Dethtron.  Ever wonder what I really look like?  I slip photos of myself in all secret like every once and a while, but this will be about the most blatantly full on pic of me ever published here at the HoP....




.....and I'd like to preface this by saying that I'd seen neither this video nor this one prior to quitting shaving in November and getting new glasses.......

Dethtron says: Keep me away from your daughter... and also how creepy is my pink bathroom...really?

Now, as far as last week's "not at all shameful grab for filler content" contest is concerned, there is no winner, as nobody decided to follow the rules :(  The idea was to post a LIST built on the shakiest premise possible.  That could have been anything with more than one Chaos god in it, something built around a combo that would be destined to never work or whatever.  Unfortunately, nobody submitted a list- and that makes me a sad panda.

Now for this week's contest, we'll dumb it down a little bit.  If you got your very own Magic: the Gathering card what would it be?  Design yourself in the context of MtG.  Feel free to link to a picture if you feel it's necessary.  Use standard text notations for your card and be sure to include a casting cost, power/toughness (if you're a creature), special rules you may have, and a quote for the text box on your card.  Here's my example, including one of the infinite number of pictures of me playing drums in which I have no face:

Bizzarro Hoagy, aka Flexo, does something while I hide

Dethtron  2BU

Creature 3/1

2:  Dethtron gains landwalk ability of owner's choice.

"ah drums, nature's earliest form of camouflage"




And as a special super secret bonus surprise for people who made it this far, here is a pic from nearly ten years ago.  Let's see if Lo can guess where this one was taken....

R.I.P. party pants