Musings of a Game Store Patron [Customer's Bill of Rights]

When we decided that we were doing this whole bizarro week thing, I knew right away that I wanted to write Loquacious' normal column from the customer perspective.  Luckily, when drawing straws to see who got what, the sheer force of my personality saw to it that random chance and fate were on my side and I would indeed get the opportunity to do this.  Well, either that or I bullied my way into it since I sort of co-run this blog thing here.  We'll leave it up to history to decide that one.

dethtron, artists interpretation

Given my unique set of education, work experience, and presumed mental illness, I'm in a pretty good position to walk into just about any retail establishment and figure out if it's being run efficiently and taking care of its patrons.  This isn't a way of tooting my own horn (no, there will be plenty of time for that later when the lights are low and in-private browsing has been activated), but merely to establish my credentials...or totally make them up.  History will, again, have to decide that one.  Nevertheless, I've frequently gotten the opportunity to rant insanely in favor of price hikes from GW and many other business/ retail topics over on my own blog, Dick Move, so I'll try to avoid that type of article here.  I'll also be avoiding making this come off as too much of a " you know what really grinds my gears" type of raving.

perhaps sloppy tv writing is what really grinds my gears

But I digress, this is all a really roundabout way of me saying that I expect a lot out of a game store if they'd care to win my business.  I don't want to come off as a total dickhead about this, but the average FLGS (and seriously how rare is the "F" in that one?) cannot compete with the Internet on pricing.  So if I know I can get something cheaper elsewhere, you, as a store owner, are going to have to do something extra to gain my business and entice me to come into your store repeatedly. What's more, failure to treat me as a human being or act like you care about your shop are surefire ways to get my ass out of your store without buying anything.

As a customer, then, I feel there are certain unalienable rights that we are entitled to.  You could call this a bill of rights if you were feeling smug and clever and wanted to write up a long-winded parody of the first few amendments to the US constitution, but thankfully for all of us, I used up all of my smug cleverness dealing with customers of my own this weekend.  Rather than write up the parody, I will just explain what we all deserve from our FLGS if they expect to gain our business.

Cleanliness- if you are asked when the last time you dusted your store was and can't honestly say that it was within the week, then you're doing it wrong.  Failure to dust your shelves and display fixtures is a sure sign that you hate your customers (especially those of us with allergies) and your job.  It pains me to even have to mention this, but the same goes for personal hygiene.  If they can smell you in the next county, you're not creating an environment in your store conducive to making me want to be in it.  I once shopped at a store where the owner was in dire danger of being crushed under a pile of games that he had not put out on shelves and fast food containers- emphasis on the once!

Attitude-  don't have one.  You're running a business for god's sake.  Arguing with customers over nothing or being generally unpleasant towards them is completely unnecessary, especially since you're trying to take their money.  I fully expect a FLGS employee to be helpful and friendly when I'm shopping.  This doesn't have to mean you're bubbly and overbearing about helping me out, but if you go all comic book guy on me, I'm never coming back. 

Product Assortment-  If a store doesn't have an item in stock, odds are I'm off to the Internet to go get it.  Seriously, I'm not going to special order something from you, causing me to have to make yet another trip to your store and probably wait over a week, when I can get the item I'm looking for cheaper and delivered to my doorstep through the web in a matter of days.  Thus, I expect a store that has as much stock as humanly possible.  Not everybody can afford to be a GW premier retailer right from the get go, but if you're listening to your customers and stocking what they want, you'll probably be able to afford it more quickly than you think.

Knowledge-  all I know is that I don't know nothin', but a store owner should know a little about everything should (s)he wish to be successful and get my business.  If I want to get into a new game system that I don't know much about, the FLGS owner should at least be able to tell me what I need to get started and a little bit about how the games plays.  Nothing is worse than getting home and realizing that you didn't buy the special dice or template needed for your new game since nobody told you you needed it.  Going back to that store?  Nope, it's the Internet for me again.

Perks-  I know it's not possible to meet the pricing available on the Internet.  Nevertheless, offering me some sort of incentive to come into your store will make it easier for me to support you.  A frequent buyer's card or something else that offers the customer a slight discount is the least we should expect.  Hell, mail me a coupon around Xmas and I'll be a happy camper.

Gaming space-  many of our favorite games take up a lot of space- space that we may not have at home.  One thing the FLGS can offer that that .com can't is an environment to play in.  Having a few tables available (free or rental) and stocked with good quality terrain is a must.  This, dear FLGSs is where you crush the Internet retailers.  They cannot compete with you on physical space. When you give up some of your floor space for my friends and I, I will thank you buy buying stuff from you.  Better yet, if you're feeling particularly enterprising, I'd be happy to buy food and drinks from you as well as some gaming stuff.

Booze-  oh sorry, just wishlisting there.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of what we all deserve as game store patrons, so feel free to continue this discussion in the comments.  I'm very curious to see what you all expect and who knows, your participation might help somebody improve their business and make your shopping experience that much better.