Well folks, dethtron is back and it appears that not even a suspected case of shigellosis (webMD it if you don't know it) can bring him down. Now that I'm not having sweet fever dreams any more I'm back to finish up the sadly abandoned Quickfire Challenge project with this excellent entry on how the Hottest of Hot Pandas broke his gaming cherry.
Warhammer 40k: Losing my Virginity
The world of Warhammer 40k is a dark grim place. It can corrupt the innocent in a heart beat and leaving them with craving for plastic crack. Once you cross this line there is little hope for salvation. Not even god can save you. I know all of this myself cause I am an addict and my first time playing Warhammer 40k is etched in my brain forever.
My thirst for the game was unquenchable and my desire to learn was fuelled by fear. Fear of losing, fear of humiliation and most of all fear of peeing my pants. To make matters worse I was unable to use the army of my choice, Chaos Space Marines. Instead I forced to play with a bunch of nuns with guns. The only thing I had going for me was that I was not the only virgin at the table. My opponent was fresh meat, specifically fish as he was playing Tau. To ease the pain of it being our first time we stripped the game down to the bare bones. Five hundred points, no vehicles, no special rules, no safe words…ummm, what I am talking about here…oh yes my first time playing Warhammer 40k.
As the game got under way it was clear that the Sisters were dictating the pace of the battle. The Sisters pressed hard and fast into the Tau with little disregard for their own safety. This enabled the fishheads to split the women into two small pockets. The Sisters just pushed back into them though, giving them little room to manoeuvre. Back and forth the battle went with neither side really knowing what it was doing. The battle quickly turned into frenzy with each side jockeying for a better position. With the Sisters deep into the Tau lines, it was quickly becoming evident that they were now in a position of vulnerability. They came crumbing to their knees as the game climax prematurely on turn four. I had a smile on my face despite being on the end of the losing stick. The game was fast and furious with the hard details escaping me. All I know is that all of my Sisters dead on the battlefield while my opponent had twenty five percent of his fish still on the board.
The battlefield was dark grim place that day especially with it being my first time playing. I suffered a humiliating defeat that made me crave for revenge. Being baptized by fire left wanting more. Like a crack whore looking to get my fix I was hooked on Warhammer 40k from that day on.
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