The Fifth Day of Fishmas

Lauby:  see... this is the thing that really irritated me about the whole Bill-bo Shaggins incident.  Bill already had a damn card!  It just didn’t have his name on it.

Uglyraincoat: Yeah, but it doesn’t capture the essence of Bill, even if he looks cool.  Which brings us to our next card, the source of the conflict:

Uglyraincoat: A tribute to the driving force behind Fishmas.  

Lauby:  A true visionary.
dethtron:  he’s like the Jesus of fishmas.  Or satan.  I forget.
Lauby: A little bit of both if we’re honest.

Uglyraincoat: Damn you constraints of space.  Should have been “fish ninja wizard”.

dethtron:  I wish we’d have tried to jamb more creature types onto all of the cards in the set.  ALL OF THEM!  Beware the wrath of Bern-a-nated the Human Wizard Instant Goon.

Lauby:  Oh man, it should have totally be a wizard.  Then Nerv, Wizard Ideologist would have had something to combo (in the loosest sense of the word) with.

dethtron:  Great song, great quote!  Are we going to have to edit the cooter out of this one for the blog, though?  I think it’s integral to the Fishmas plot, much like that scene in Swordfish with Halle Berry’s sweater kittens.  Not to say that Ms. Berry’s chesticles are intrinsic to the story of Fishmas, but rather that they were a necessary part of Swordfish.

Lauby:  God, that movie was horrible.  Though Halle Berry’s second face was a little island of tranquility in a horrible sea of “John Travolta at the end of his career and relevance as an actor”.  Sooooo... we have a card here... I guess what’s most telling about this card’s usefulness and overall goodness is that we’re sidetracked on Swordfish. Oh, and we'll definitely have to do some editing.
dethtron:  Ok, in all seriousness, though, this card is so limited in scope that it makes me very happy.  I don’t know why, but I’m always drawn to cards with oddly specific abilities.
Uglyraincoat: What cooter?  Ohhhh..........
Fish-eyes the Summoner:  Just relax while I squirt my semen on your eggs.  Wait, what do you want me to do?!?

 Lauby:  And here is our cardinal sin.  The titular card of the set is complicated, over-costed, easy to remove and ties into a mechanic no one could really take advantage of.  I think there’s a kernel of great alternate win condition card here, but I think our homemade card set would need to be about 200 cards bigger for this to work.

Uglyraincoat: Sir, I reject portions of your analysis!  We went out of our way to create a card with tokens (the broken counters on Zebco Model # 666) when a simple “destroy” would have sufficed, so the token component which is the cause of the card’s complexity is essential.  Moreover, since the tokens appear at every upkeep (not just your upkeep) its action is quite a bit quicker than 7 turns.  If it was cheaper to cast, it would be even more difficult to contest with.  The best part of the balance is that it counts all fish, so it is quite random unless you go out of your way to assure that you have the most.  If we had played more with the cards, this might have been the one that made the fish mechanic work.    If it was slower (only your upkeep), then I agree with you about the cost being too high.  I also agree that we should have done two more sets.

dethtron:  come on Lauby, how could you not love a card which creates an alternate win condition where he who has the most fish wins.  Wish we would have added a rule that you have to shout “I win fishmas” at the top of your lungs and then chug a beer, though.

Uglyraincoat: Fixed: ...and then chug a fish.

Lauby:  That one hits close to home.  We did actually come pretty close to fish chugging courtesy of the Bern.  And for the record, I’m not anti alt-win conditions, I’m anti complicated cards designed to be played by drunks.

dethtron:  hang on.  Did this really happen and if so, why are parties involving Lauby so often punctuated by violence?
Lauby:  I can’t remember if the event I’m thinking of happened before or after this card, so... maybe.  And in answer to your second question, no idea.  I guess I just naturally attract violence.  Much in the same way the mentally disabled like you so much.
dethtron: everybody’s got to have a talent.
Eddie No-Talent: Them’s fightin’ words!
Uglyraincoat: p.s. Dig the strategy of being able to control your opponent’s untap phase.