Hey, look at that ludicrous thing Lantz is doing. Doesn't that just beat all? ...can you tell I'm writing this without having seen this week's Lantz picture?
Yes, but you're pretty spot on. What Lantz is doing IS ludicrous. Here's the picture to round out our Thursday tom-foolery - Lauby
Lantz sez: [it was] A busy week involving drinking, sex, shenanigans,
more sex and some 3D glasses.
Speaking of embarassing, it's time for this week's not at all shameless grab for filler content contest and we're playing by Dave of N++'s rules.
This week Dave wants us all to stare into
To get the ball rolling, Dave is going to let it all hang out and share his own personal moment of utter fail:
When I was younger, in one particularly brutal team session, I was alpha striked by two Imperials down to just a Farseer. (My ally was Nids and we were playing on a 3’ x 8’ table – the long way; back then we gamed however we could. They didn’t need to worry about the nids for a few turns)
Still wanting to be able to help lead to the 5 words that would come back to haunt me – “Want me to guide anything?” This is still referenced during any spectacularly fail moment that occurs in our games.
Now we don't want to leave Dave hanging out alone, naked, and in the cold with his embarrassing story. Let it rip, share your most epic fails in the comments sections. Who knows, you may be the next person to abritrarily win a shakily designed contest that you weren't even aware you had entered. Shit, maybe there's even prize support- is it too soon to whisper free iPad*.
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*For your generous donation of $599.99 to help support the HoP in this pledge drive season, we will automatically throw the contest, if there is one, in your favor and send you an iPad. What's that you say? You could buy an iPad for that money; the entire donation would be blown in one swoop. Well that's your problem buddy.
13 comments:
A few years ago, the girl I was dating was a 'gamer chic' & I was 'donating' an extra 1200ish points of 40k Orks to her cause. While on the phone with her I picked up the box of said Orks & while holding it, something shifted (a killer kan I think), and i lost my hold of it the box, it flipped & all of the Orks crashed down onto te hardwood floor! (in 10+ years of gaming I had never dropped any army) In the silence that lingered after the crash she said:
'was that my army?'
'Umm, yes dear, gotta go...' & I hung up.
Casualties were heavy & broken bits were everywhere, but eventually most was recovered, reassembled, and turned over to their new owner.
But that particular gaming moment, while not really an embarrassment, was one of just pure horror.
Hopefully by the time everyone's done spilling their stories, he won't be driving the wambulantz. C'mon people, lets hear 'em!
Wham-boom-lantz story...
Freshly converted howling banshee exarch on a jet bike... The old school jetbike that was all metal and plastic was still basically 'push- together'.
This was back in the day when you could really come up with some sic combinations of wargear cards and special abilities and WYSIWYG was a big deal at the local hobby shop.
Sooo... never got to play her... tripped coming into the store and the tray I was using went flying across the room movie style. I never found the body of the jetbike.
I didn't take Eldar again after that. It was a messange from the emperor to never take allies.
Not so much embarrassing as one of those, doh!, moments. I fired my Vindicator close to where I had two units of Tacts. The dice gods smote me and it scattered onto the top of one of the squads and I lost 8 of the 9 there. I could have lived with the result had I thought of shooting with that Tact Squad BEFORE I fired the Vindicator.
I still take risky shots but now I shoot with the units in the firing zone FIRST.
My old gaming group held a little round-robin tournament during the early days of 4th edition 40k. We played 1000 point armies on 4x4 tables so we could have multiple games going at once. During one of my games I felt my Eldar army was under-performing and that I was forgetting something very important. I never deployed my Avatar, 15% of my points, and I got slaughtered. Oops.
I had a close combat session with my Calgar (with only 1 wound left) and two of his honour guard against a group of plain-jane IG-men. After a slaughtering of attacks from my UMs, there was a lone Guardsman left.
This Guardsmen, as our group describes it, took the barrel of his Lasgun, shoved it in Calgar's eye socket and pulled the trigger without remorse. Marneus Calgar, Chapter Master of the Ultramarines dying to some guy named Hank was both hilarious and embarrassing.
Dethtron, we need to get Frank over here so he can talk about the Chaos Terminator Incident.
Mine is not specifically gaming related, but is so entrenched in our local group's lore that it doesn't really matter. It goes wherever I go, and I cannot escape it.
I'm not a very coordinated person- right up front. I have even worse hand-eye coordination when it comes to video games. Somehow, I can't make that aspect of my brain work.
I was out with the guy I dated previous to dating (and eventually marrying) The Dude. We were at a video arcade and the guy gave me a handful of quarters. Off I went to find the simplest, least obnoxious game to play.
I found Operation: Wolf (AKA "Uzi on a stick"). The cabinet was built for someone about 6-8 inches taller than me (I. AM. SHORT!), so I had a hard time seeing the screen. I'm firing away, but I can't hit anything.
I get really frustrated. I start yelling at the game. LOUDLY. As in:
"Get in my way! How can I shoot you if you don't get in my way! No- DIE! GET IN MY WAY!"
The guy was so embarrassed he snuck out of the arcade, and then decided to enact revenge on me by telling EVERYONE in our gaming group.
To this day (well over 20 years later) many times, I hear "get in my way" as I'm about to roll to hit.
Sigh.
Well there is one incident that still gets mentioned sometimes, it was VS daemons.
In the first half of the game I had lost Yriel by failing every single save he was required to take, not the one passed :o(
Anyway , later on the same tragedy was playing itself out with my Farseer, who after failing two saves out of two required the turn before, promptly rolled a double six for a psy check, then failed his ghost helm and his invun = splat.
I kinda maybe ish, lost it a little there, after the game my opponent and I spent some time looking for the pieces we finally found the last part kinda embedded in the notice board in the corridor outside the room, much laughter ensued....
The guys at the club still like to poke fun and refer to as project 'FFS' or Flying FarSeer, someone even wore safety glasses once when we were playing , I only noticed about half way through the game , lol
Oddly enough,there is a happy end to this tale, with some repair and GS Failseer is back on duty and passing saves.
Lantz kinda reminds me of Bruno in that picture :oP
I sat in on a session of Hackmaster that my friend was GM'ing, while they were playing the module "Against the Slave Lords." I decided my character's morals matched those of Bender (from Futurama) and, at a crucial moment, sold the entire party of 8 people down the river for 5,000 gold pieces, resulting in them getting captured, and my taking my pick of their stuff before the slavers got there. The slavers saluted my villainy by launching the party Cavalier's horse off a slave ship with a catapult.
The GM could not stop laughing.
I was not allowed in that campaign again.
I run a wings MoN Warptime daemon prince my girlfriend dubbed Captain Murderpants.FW in cover, no assault grenades, ok you hit on 5's wound on 6's. Cpt Murderpants promptly dies at I2, before he swings...
Later, he charges a Farseer, who managed to punch out the last wound before he swings.. that guy...
Ok, I'll throw my story in the ring. Making use of the super amphibious powers of the Chimera, I drove a PCS straight through a river on my last turn to contest an objective being held by 3 plague marines in cover that I could not seem to get rid of. Here's where things get exciting. We had previously ruled that the river was dangerous terrain and I left the ass end of my transport hanging over the river. Now wouldn't you know that one of those plauge marines had a plasma gun and was able to wreck my tank, forcing a disembark straight into the river. It should come as no surprise that nobody in the unit except the officer failed their test. I determined that he had been pushed out and used as a floatation device by Ramirez, whom he had ridden very hard during drills the day prior.
Ok... I got three, and 2 ain't even mine, lol.
First, I had a game with my Space Cops against a local guy's horde orks. I assumed I could kill 'em pretty easy if I could take out like 5 biker nobs, some Stormboyz (with Zagstrukk) and Lootas... Well, guy held his Nobs and Stormboyz in reserves. I shoot forward real fast to try and knock out his Lootas before they can do real damage to my army... and the Nobs and Stormboys promptly turn up.
So, yeah, I'm a little worried, but the Stormboys miss their assault and I vaporize them, then I prepare to knock out the Nobs with nearly all the meltas in my army and... None hit. So, all my Autocannons aim at the Nobs instead of the Lootas and... None die. And... That was pretty much the rest of the game. I didn't hit a single shot with a melta gun all game and I severely doubt that this guy failed a single save on his Nobs... Ugh... Suck.
Now, we'll talk my buddy Rick's 4th ed Marines versus my shitty 60 Firewarrior Tau army. Needless to say, he was really ripping me apart. His Marines were kicking the crap out of my poor defenseless little fish dudes... And then he charges his super Chaplain into a squad of my Firewarriors in cover.
Me: "You got grenades?"
Him: "Hrm... No... Looks like I don't..."
Me: "Ah... I guess I strike first... Damn... Ok... Well... Probably won't matter..."
Him: "Well... you just got 10 hits... and 6 wounds..."
Me: "Well, you're gonna pass 'em all... Or... you just failed all of those..."
Him: "..."
And, finally, we have my buddy Wes' poor little Vindicator. So, we're playing one of my Chaos Armies (my Tzeentch army) against one of his Marine armies. I immobilize and shake one of his Vindicators (he has two) and explode the other one. He gets kinda upset (he never got to fire those damn things, lol). But, he has a chance for glory! Next turn, if I don't do anything, he can fire it! So, I park an empty Rhino right in front of it and ignore.
Well, he's a little miffed, but he says "Dammit, I'm gonna shoot something anyways, even if it is an empty Rhino!" He promptly scatters back onto his own Vindicator and causes it to explode... and me to chuckle.
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