Well, this post is gonna be late!
The Crazy Lady I Live With is laid up sick, so I gotta take care of her. And by 'take care of her' I basically mean, 'do everything that needs doing, and also be a butler for a miserably ill Terran Female.'
Did ya ever notice how the Terran Females in yer life may have a way of calling yer name that just sends chills up yer spine? I mean, it starts with yer moms, no doubt. During yer pupal and larval years, I'm sure there were times when you were all sequestered in yer bedroom, yer mom would yell yer name and despite the potentially deafening volume of whatever horrific music you were playing, you would hear it clearly, and cringe. Terran moms are quite gifted when it comes to terrifying their offspring- they can do it by merely calling their names. That's good.
If you're a Terran Male, however, you will learn that your biological mother will not be the last Terran Female to make you miserable. Just the first. Waddayagonnado?
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| *Dwight was Xenos, y'know. He never really 'got' Terrans* |
So far my favorite part was when she talked me through exactly how many lil' scoopie things of coffee go in the coffee maker, and exactly how much water to add, and how I better pour it in slow so it doesn't splash cuz I always make a mess when I make coffee and she always has to clean up after me and ohmygodsomebodyjustkillme.
Sigh.
She'd nag from her death bed, I swear.
-_-
Like most males that have spent a fair amount of time living upon this planet, I've had my fair share of dealings with Terran Females. Some good times, some bad, but when all is said and done I hafta say that life is better when there's Terran Females involved in some capacity. Friends or lovers, moms, grandmoms, aunts, cousins and sisters. I've talked about my great-grandma before, and fer sure she's the most amazing Terran I've ever known.
I can say, without a doubt, that Terran Females make this world a much more interesting place to be, and I very much enjoy being in their presence. Just knowing they're out there makes me all happy and whatnot. And why shouldn't it? Mysterious and alluring at times, forthright and in-yer-face at others, Terran Females seem, from a Male perspective at least, as fickle and unpredictable as a spring storm. Trust me, no one would write corny, cliche lines like that if it wasn't true. It's part of their mystique, after all, and in this case mystique absolutely means 'those things they do that make you pull yer hair outta yer head in frustration.'
But, Lord love 'em, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Which is good, cuz I'm prolly about to piss a few of 'em off.
:)
It's Sexy Models (part two) Time!
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| *No soldier, ever, was lucky enough to have a commanding officer that looked like this* |
Above we see some of the new figs for Raging Heroes. A quick perusal of their website is definitely in order, as they've got some really lovely stuffs over there.Check out this Orc, fer instance. Pretty cool, right? But certainly not as sexy as this. How hawt is that lil' tongue-action thing she's doing? Wow- talk about insanely detailed! So many companies are making ultra-high definition quality models nowadays, it's ridiculous.
Raging Heroes may be new to the 'scantily-clad' model-making biz, but they sure landed with a splash. Meantime, cheesecake manufacturers extraordinaire Soda Pop Miniatures (I couldn't connect to their webpage during the time I was writing this for some reason) and Kingdom Death , among others, keep crankin' 'em out.
This edition of Sexy Models is a bit more specific in it's focus, however. For today, we celebrate the lovely ladies of Infinity, produced by Covus Belli. A large part of the appeal of this game is the models- they're outstanding, and month after month Corvus Belli releases more, and every month they just get better. It's very hard to see this, as a gamer, and sit on the sidelines. I know that by the time I finally broke down and started playing Infinity, I was goin' nuts seeing those cool new models coming out every month and not having a reason to run out and buy them.
That's all over now, and two months or so later and I'm already purchasing the first models for my second faction- an all-girl covert action squad of Nomads.
:)
My first purchase? A Reverend Moiras.
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| *The green lipstick is a great touch, and that tush is just amazing* |
As far as 'sexy models' in Infinity are concerned, I think the lovely Reverend here is prolly tops on the list. She's all about 'Dat Azz,' fer sure (and, like all of the lovely ladies of Infinity, shooting you in the face)! Of course, this decision is greatly influenced by the fact that Corvus Belli recently released a whole new friggin' boxset of Reverend Moiras!
Woot!
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| *Best 'nuns with guns (in space)' in the entire mini-gaming industry* |
And there's another sculpt, as well:
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| *This one is the boss. You can just tell* |
The Reverends are more than just a bunch of Sexy Models, they're a great unit in-game. Linkable in their Sectorial List (Bakunin Jurisdictional Commando), they come equipped with an ODD: Optical Disruptor, which imposes a negative six modifier on anyone using a Ballistic Skill on them. They don't need cover, and even if you manage to shoot one, she might very well shrug it off thanks to having a decent armor rating of ARM 3, which is pretty good for a Medium Infantry statline.
Additionally, Reverend Moiras are Religious Troops, which means that any force they're attached to won't break until they suffer 75% losses, as opposed to the usual 60%.
They're called 'Shock Commandos' in their fluff, and a full Link of five on the table would be a scary thing indeed.
I'm looking forward to it.
:)
The Nomads are also blessed with Infinity's resident 'bad seeds,' the Riot Grrls.
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| *Yes, the one with the Boarding Shotgun is flipping the bird* |
Interestingly, these ladies are also Linkable, and available in the same Sectorial list as the Reverend Moiras!
Cha-Ching!
It's so rarely that things work out for me like this. I fully expected to have to finagle and make sacrifices to make an all-girls list that I not only liked, but that might actually rock on the battlefield. Infinity is great in this regard- you really can build a list by just throwing a bunch of models you like together, and then go and win with it!
That's just like, the greatest thing ever in my book.
Riot Grrls are Heavy Infantry, and although they're only ARM 3 (I told you Reverend Moiras had a good armor rating for Mediums, didn't I?), they have two wounds, as opposed to one. Since they're actually cheaper than Reverend Moiras (that Optical Disruptor ain't cheap!), and can be equipped with some very effective fire power in the form of the Blitzen; a two-use rocket launcher thingy that does E/M (electromagnetic) damage and an uncommon weapon in general. These things are murder on TAGS (giant mechs and monsters) and power-armored Heavy Infantry (I know this might be hard to accept, but 'powered armor' is not a concept exclusive to certain other gaming franchises, which will remain unnamed here), shutting them down in an instant.
Yes, their armor has lil' metallic nipples and the suggestion of a pubic hair 'landing strip,' but you know what? Those details will NEVER lead me to a weirdly embarrassing conversation in the way that THIS model did:
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| *I'm using the 'Hacker' version to illustrate my point, as the HMG model pics don't have a clear view of the...of the...oh gawd the horror* |
You see that big bulge between the figure's legs? Yeah, that. We all know what it is. It's an Alien Insect Penis...or the armor, designed to protect an Alien Insect's penis. Whatever. Certain parts of the figure look like armor, and then other parts look fleshy. I'm not gonna analyze this too much (yeah, go ahead and crack the 30 jokes that line sets you up for, knuckleheads...).
Anyway- that Alien Insect penis is a actually a completely separate part of the model!
And I dropped it.
So there I am on my hands and knees, crawling around and under my desk, using my cellphone as a flashlight, when my stepson walks in.
'Wadda you looking for? What did you lose this time?' he asks, having seen this routine a few times.
'Shaddup, you,' I reply, 'and help me look. It's a lil' metal piece, this time. It's silver. It should be around here somewhere...'
He crouches down next to me and starts looking. 'What is it? What does it look like?'
...
...Oh, boy...what to say?
'Ummmm....'
He looks at me and makes one of his eyeroll faces. He has a gift for making faces, and I have a gift for not killing him when he makes faces, so it works out.
'Tell me, what does "Ummm" look like? How do I find "Ummm"? Can you point out something else that looks like "Ummm," so this way I have some idea of what I'm trying to find?"
I have no idea where he picked this sarcastic attitude up from.
-_-
He goes on...
'Lil' help? Looking for "Ummm," and I'm not really having any luck, cuz I have no idea what it actually looks li-'
'FINE,' I bark, 'it's an Alien c*ck. We're looking for an Alien c*ck, ok? I was building an Alien, and I dropped his c*ck. You happy now?'
'You dropped his c*ck?'
'Sigh. Yes. I dropped his c*ck.'
'His c*ck was actually like, a separate piece?'
'Yes. Yes it was.'
'Ummm...'
'See? I told you. "Ummm" is all you can say.'
'That Alien is really packin,' huh?'
'F*ckin' A, buddeh. Now help me look.'
So, yeah- maybe the Riot Grrls have armored nipples and sexy playboy magazine crotch haircuts, but I will definitely feel less awkward assembling them. Nyah.
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| *The sense of lightness and motion this figure possesses is amazing. You can almost hear the rapid pitter-patter of her running feet a split second before she bursts on the scene and starts decapitating fools. This level of quality and attention to detail is typical of the entire line of Infinity miniatures* |
Here we have an entry for my buddy James. As usual, he has exceptional taste, even if he is a great big knucklehead.
As you can see, 'sexy' doesn't necessarily have to include 'scantily clad.' Kitsune epitomizes how well Infinity models convey 'sexy' in ways other than the blatant use of exposed flesh. Sexy can be an attitude, or contained in a simple gesture, like a Terran Female twirling her hair. In the case of Kitsune here, sexy is a set of lithe legs propelling a stabby death forwards at lightning speed. Sexy is the lil' smile- just a slight curve of the lips, perhaps in anticipation of the stabby. It's the long, whippy hair cascading behind her.
It really is the little things, sometimes, and Infinity figures are so good at that. No other modeling company does 'subtly sexy' as well as Corvus Belli.
Here's a fig that illustrates what I mean:
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| *I suppose you could say I also have a Haqq army, but I buy them for my buddy Nascar to use* |
This is the Hacker version of the Djanbazan unit, available for Haqqislam. They're Medium Infantry, and like most of the entries in any army list in the game can be equipped with a variety of loadouts. This unit has six different configs you can choose, with different weapons and skills.
There are...five? Five different sculpts for the Djanbazan, I think, but this is easily my favorite. I think this one is hawt.
It's the line of her body, the tilt of her head- the way it's slightly turned away gives her an air of mystery. She seems to almost be walking tippy-toe, for some reason, in a sultry, languid manner. She's so thin, yet curvy enough that there's no mistaking that silhouette for anything but a lady.
What a great fig.
The forces of Haqqislam also include what can only be termed as 'Infinity's sexpots.'
The Odalisques.
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| *The recently released Odalisque boxset, with minty new updated sculpts* |
Light Infantry with a dizzying amount of potential loadouts, including the new Haris Level 1 Fireteam config, Odalisques are pretty gosh-darned awesome.
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| *Linkable, 360 Degree Visor, No-Wound Incapacitation, and 31 points with a Spitfire? Yes, please* |
Then there's the ladies of ALEPH. The super-mega-ultra computer thingy that runs the Human Sphere (I'm sure I'll get into the fluff during future Infinity posts, and there will be future Infinity posts, trust me), ALEPH has it's own lil' personal army. Somewhat android-robotic-like, and taking some of it's stylistic influences from the ancient Greeks, the forces of ALEPH include more than a couple of 'sexy models.'
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| *I'm gratified to see that even cyber-augmented hot chicks in the future still wear ski-tight spandex bodysuits* |
I like this figure for more than the obvious- it's rare to see a model with large, flat, blank areas with no like, textures or lil' nooks, crannies or wrinkles. No gizmos strapped on her legs, or pockets on her shapely derriere to give a painter something to work with. You never see that in war-gaming minis.
Models like this challenge the painter to highlight really well, to emphasize the natural curves of the figure, or- if one is daring- to come up with a pattern for the clothing. If you look closely at the pic, you can see that a lot of work went into the white uniform. Look at the shading of the lower legs that makes her calves look rounded, and the highlight on the hamstrings that draw attention to the fact that she's wearing sorta-high heels, and her legs are long. Real, real long.
That pose is all business, too. This character wouldn't have looked out of place as a bad guy in an episode of Ghost In The Shell, and I betcha she would've given the Major a run for her money.
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| *Lookit those buns. He works out* |
Well, it would hardly be a very inclusive 'Infinity Sexy Models' post if I didn't include the Brad Pitt of ALEPH now, would it?
I think not.
Mmmm...So brawny. So rugged.
Even his armor has a six-pack.
:D
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| *Why, yes...they do design power armor with high heels. Sorry, ladies, even in the far-flung future, you still gotta deal with 'em* |
This PanOceana Heavy Infantry unit is another example of a set of curves and the right pose make it clear that this figure is all lady.
Another thing Corvus Belli and their Female Infinity figures get right is the models poses conveying a fun, sexy and sassy attitude. Now this might not be appropriate for a soldier in reality, but let's remember these are like, futuristic soldiers from a miniature table top game, and that they're all completely fictional, ok?
Here's a few more figs from the Nomads to show ya what I mean:
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| *A classic 'super hero' pose, a la Wesley Snipes* |
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| *The 'Babe Ruth,' just...with a Rocket Launcher instead of a baseball bat* |
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| *Classic Anime pose on this additional Riot Grrl sculpt. 'I'm sassy! Tee-hee!'* |
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| *A standard action pose on an Infinity model is still a cut above most other game models out there* |
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| *One of my personal favorite, the Catgirl Medic!* |
And, just so I don't sound all biased and whatnot, let's take a look at some of the Sexy Models from the other armies!
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| *As a Mercenary, Valerya can be taken with any Human Sphere army* |
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| *Lil' hint about the Xenos races in Infinity- their 'delegates' don't really 'negotiate' so much as 'blast yer face'* |
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| *Another of my faves, Ko-Dali is build like the proverbial brick outhouse. She's in every list I write now* |
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| *The only female Morat, she looks like she's daring you to call her 'sassy.' Go ahead- you try* |
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| *I just finished assembling her the other night. I know she's got a tentacle head, but I think Sheskiin is SO cute* |
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| *Sigh- yep, there's tramp-stamp tattoos in the future, as well* |
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| *I like named characters in other armies. Hopefully, my Combined army can 'Sepsitorize' (basically brainwash) them and add 'em to our ranks, like we did with Yu-Jing and Ko Dali* |
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| *Pretty sure I know which one of these skirts I'd rather go camping with!* |
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| *Short-shorts and rocket launchers never go outta style!* |
Okay, I think that's a pretty good selection of Sexy Models!
As you can see, scantily clad is in no way a prerequisite for 'sexy,' and the makers of Infinity know how to catch your eye without being overt about it. The ladies of Infinity are by no means 'trashy.' Their sculpts are a cut above, maturity-wise, than most Sexy Models.
Sure, boobies are great, but Infinity models don't really go that route. Nor do they need to. They're sexy without being overly silly, or out-of-proportion, in the way that so many other manufacturers put forth Female wargaming minis.
One thing I can say as an endorsement of these figs- I actually OWN a bunch of 'em! The only female fig I ever owned up until I started playing Infinity has been Shadowsun. I can't tell you how happy I was when I got Ko Dali and Sheskiin built. They're right here on my desk in front of me as I type this.
I love my Combined Army, but I'm looking forward to eventually having my mini-gaming fantasy on the tabletop- an all girl army,
In the meantime, guess who's racked up the biggest body count for a single fig for my Xenos?
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| *The thing is, 'she' is not really a 'she,' so much...* |
Six kills in one game alone!
When this 'girl' shows up, she's a game-changer.
Can't wait to see what Corvus Belli does next month...and the next...and the next...
Until next time, folks- Exit with catchphrase!
- SinSynn
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