Which is all-right in principle as long as the other persons opinion is worthy of respect...but more often than not it blatantly isn't and presuming it's going to be of equal merit as your own is like starting a game of Warhammer with the intention of playing for a draw.
I don't play to draw, I play to win ;-)
Therefore with that in mind I'd like to present my guide to winning arguments on the internet.....
1) The Imaginary Friend.
Well my mate *insert made up name here* always wins with Daemons.....
If your ironclad source for information doesn't actually exist then it's difficult for some-one to contact them to verify the facts behind what you've said they said. Most often starting with some variation of "This guy I know does....." or "This guy on the internet said....." this enables you to put forward a point with whatever information you want within it that has the illusion of containing first hand information gained by actually engaging in the activity that your attempting to justify.
"Well this guy I know always includes a unit of *insert bullshit unit here* and he never loses a game"
It can also be used as a safety barrier should you wish to distance yourself from the point you made if your not actually sure of it yourself.
"Somebody on the internet yesterday claimed that....."
It's worth noting that some statements are too outlandish to be used without your subterfuge becoming apparent.
"I know this guy who takes Chaos Spawn and says that they're his most effective unit" Is unlikely to be taken seriously...
It is of course of vital important not to argue with the imaginary friend anywhere where there are witnesses as you may end up in a padded room while wearing a tight jacket with the arms tied together ;-)
2) The Quote from Someone Famous.
As the great strategist SunTzu said.....
This strategy has some of the advantages of the imaginary friend (such as distancing yourself from any negative feedback) though in this case the quote really needs to actually have been said by someone or the whole concept breaks down.....they also need to be famous.....and the quote needs to be relevant...
"Always keep your paperclips in a tub" said Frank from accounts
That might be good advice in it's own right but is unlikely to help you to win a game of 40K. The more famous the person, the more likely the quote is to be taken seriously and if it's a quote that's known then you may have better luck with it's use. Conversely using a more obscure quote may give you extra 'Internet Points' with the pseudo intellectual crowd or with the kind of people that think 'obscure' means 'clever' rather than 'trying to be clever'. Philosophers, strategists or famous generals are all good choices though I have a soft spot for song lyrics myself.....
"I like to watch things die from a good safe distance" from the song Vicarious by the band Tool. As a quote at the beginning of an article on the benefits of 'torrent of fire' armies would be quite acceptable. Quotes from lame pop bands will need to be obviously ironic in nature though or you risk a serious loss of geek credibility.
There is of course a point at which the system begins to fall apart. Using a quote here and there to enhance your argument can give the illusion that your a well read and intelligent individual but use too many and you often begin to look like a stupid fuckwit who's too thick to come up with ideas of your own...
I've come up with this helpful scale so as to avoid confusion,
1 quote = Fine
2 or 3 quotes = Fine if they're all appropriate.
4+ quotes = Tosser.
It's only a rough guide but in my experience it's not unreasonable ;-)
3) Real Life Experiences that Never Happened.
I remember a game I had recently where this exact same thing happened.....
More dangerous than the 'Imaginary Friend' technique as it requires you to take direct responsibility for the information your relaying. The fact that your willing to put yourself in the firing line gives instant credibility to the tale your telling and as long as no-one can prove that it never actually happened to you your on solid ground...
Some specific uses of this technique are,
"A judge at the last tournament I was in said it was perfectly legal to do this"
"I've faced armies like that one and I've beaten them every time therefore they're not broken"
"I've faced armies like that one and I've been beaten by them every time, therefore they're broken"
"And then after her mom joined in I had both her sisters as well..."
And so on.
It's probably a good idea to avoid direct involvement in the activity your bullshitting about too soon after talking bollocks about it as not being able to accurately recreate the situation will put your statement in disrepute almost immediately. As long as a few weeks have gone by the people you told have probably forgotten what you said anyway and if they remember it at all they've probably mentally altered it to suit their own opinions or preferences anyway...
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You make an interesting point yet you used there instead of their on line three of the fourth paragraph.....
The primary technique of both the spelling and grammar nazi but no less useful despite their overuse of it. By derailing the opponents well thought out counter argument by pointing out minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes you can create the impression that he's in fact a moron and that his argument only appears to be clever...after all if he can't use punctuation in the correct place then why should we listen to anything else he has to say. Finding mathematical mistakes in mathshammer based conversations is guaranteed to cause embarrassment for your enemy making your victory inevitable.
A variation of this de-railing technique is to move the conversation subtly to a subject that you know more about than the person your arguing with or to gradually move the conversation to something with no relation to the starting subject therefore causing the whole thing to fall apart. Yet another variation of this is when a person uses several hundred more words than is necessary to make a response in order to make them appear smarter than the other person who probably made the same point with a dozen or so...
Sometimes "your a cunt" is a perfectly adequate counterpoint.....
I suppose I should add some kind of "I'm only joking" get out clause about now in case some moron thinks I'm serious about everything I've said above but I don't think I'll bother...then they'll have nothing to argue about now will they?
Thoughts and comments are (as usual) most welcome.
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