The Hamster that lives in my head is a lil' tired today, it seems.
'It's your fault,' he's muttering morosely.
'I'm sorry, Hamster...what's that you say?'
Uh, oh...he looks disgruntled, and grumpy.
'I said it's your fault. How can you possibly be this annoying and deaf at the same time?'
'Uh...I'm sorry. I'll try to be less...deaf, I guess.'
'No change on the annoying thing, then?'
'Prolly not, Hamster.'
The Hamster sighs deeply and glares in an irritated fashion.
'Well,' he squeaks petulantly, 'Are you gonna ask me what's wrong? Or am I just gonna hafta put in my memoirs that you were like, neglectful...and stuffs.'
'You're...writing your memoirs?'
'Maybe I am. What's it to you?'
'Oh, fer the love of,' I begin, but I know it's pointless arguing with the Hamster. I mean, he lives in my head. These things can be...awkward. And besides, I never win. He's a tenacious, opinionated little fu-
'It's the thinking, man,' the Hamster blurts, interrupting my train of thought...which clearly is like, N scale, or something.
*SinSynn's train of thought fails a dangerous terrain check*
'The thinking has to stop. It's killing me. I'm spinning on this wheel constantly now, trying to make what little brains you have function properly! And another thing,' he continues momentarily, and then pauses to glare some more, 'Are you even listening to me? Hello?'
The Hamster startles me, right as another (very tiny) thought-train is leaving the station...
'Uh...what now? I'm sorry...I was thinking about trains. Is HO like, the standard size? And N scale is smaller, right? Train guys do such a nice job on terrain...I wonder....'
'You wonder what a Flames of War table would look with a lil' model train rolling around on it...and then you could buy that German gun train thingy...and you're thinking how cool it would be...'
'The thinking has to stop. It's killing me. I'm spinning on this wheel constantly now, trying to make what little brains you have function properly! And another thing,' he continues momentarily, and then pauses to glare some more, 'Are you even listening to me? Hello?'
The Hamster startles me, right as another (very tiny) thought-train is leaving the station...
'Uh...what now? I'm sorry...I was thinking about trains. Is HO like, the standard size? And N scale is smaller, right? Train guys do such a nice job on terrain...I wonder....'
'You wonder what a Flames of War table would look with a lil' model train rolling around on it...and then you could buy that German gun train thingy...and you're thinking how cool it would be...'
*Pfft! Like I need an excuse to buy THIS*
'Wow, Hamster, that's exactly what I was thinking! You must be psychotic or sumpthin.''
'It's psychic, you idiot. I must be psychic. Get your words right.'
'No. I got it exactly right, dumbass. Anyway, tell me what I'm thinking now...'
'You're wishing you were the chair in that photo,' the Hamster replies, rolling his eyes.
'And?'
'And I'm not gonna say it. You have like, serious issues, dude.'
'C'mon,' I smirk,'...And?'
Obviously annoyed, the Hamster begins rubbing at his fuzzy lil' temples. He does this a lot when we talk.
I have no idea why.
'And...you wish the chair had tentacles. Sheesh, man...get help. And stop trying to edit Brian Austin Green's wiki page, embed that stupid song, and then add a paragraph about how his wife is sure to be...abducted by aliens...sometime soon. Real soon.'
...Well, he's got me there. Two Cease & Desist orders are enough for one week.
Stupid Hamster....he's stupid.
'Anyway, we should be blogging,' I declare, 'So, uh...how 'bout a little spinning action there, buddy?'
At this, the Hamster plops his fuzzy lil' butt down, crosses his fuzzy lil' paws, and sulks.
'No,' he declares, ' I won't do it. When your not thinking of...'
The Hamster shivers momentarily, and continues, '...that sick kinda stuffs, yer thinking about hobby stuffs. I'm tired of it. I'm taking a break. Yer on yer own.'
I pause.
'Wadda you mean,' I ask, somewhat desperately, 'Look, I know I've been...thinking too much lately. But like...I mean- the Necrons got their FAQ! We should blog about that! And, and...the Tyranids actually got a lil' perk- Shadow in the Warp works on units in transports now!'
The Hamster looks at me sullenly.
'Well now yer just makin' stuffs up,' he answers flatly, 'Why you gotta lie, bro?'
'I'm not lying!' I exclaim defensively, 'It's true. Friggin' GW, huh...all those hundreds of e-mails. Now they fix it. Go figure, right?'
The Hamster seems to reflect for a moment, remembering...
'You know they can use those e-mails as evidence if they ever decided to press charges against yo-'
'Whatever, Mister Judgmental,' I interrupt, 'Or Judge Mental, or...whatever yer dumb Hamster name is...'
'It's Hamster. Just Hamster.'
'Well...Don't you judge me, Mister Fancy Hamster-Pants.'
'Wait, what did you just call me? That doesn't even...'
'Shut up. I'm happy for the 'Nids, and you should help me blog about it...like, now would be good...So wadda ya say?'
The Hamster appears to consider it for a second.
'Hey,' the Hamster chirps brightly, 'Good thing they never made a model for the Mycetic Spore, huh?'
'Oh? Why's that?'
'Cuz then they'd hafta fix the rules for that friggin' thing, too.'
'Oh, yer a riot, Hamster,' I scoff, 'I suppose you won't help me blog about the leaks, either.'
The Hamster jumps up and points a fuzzy, accusatory lil' paw at me.
'You said we would keep that between us,' he...squeaks loudly (Hamsters can't really 'shout,' per say), 'It was just that...few times, anyway, you big blabbermouth.'
'Yeah, few dozen. Anyway, I'm talking about the rumored leak of the 40k 6th Edition ruleset, buddy. There's a PDF floating around that...looks like...it might be...'
I let the sentence trail away, as I notice the Hamster is now making the 'duck quacking' gesture with his fuzzy lil' paw.
'Blah blah blah,' he spouts, 'Isn't everybody dissecting that thing, on every other blog out there? Why do you wanna talk about that? Yawn. Pretty sure other people are gonna talk about the FAQ's, too. Just a shot in the dark there.'
'So what,' I argue, 'Maybe people wanna hear what I hafta say 'bout this stuffs....maybe.'
The Hamster seems genuinely amused at this.
'So they wanna hear...what, exactly? Your opinion? Your guidance and wisdom during these troubled, oh-so-turbulent times?'
'Oh, I'm sorry, was that sarcasm? Cuz I didn't quite pick up on that.'
'Well pick up on this, pal- No more thinking today. I'm done. Good day to you, sir.'
The Hamster stomps off in a huff (as much as any Hamster can be said to 'stomp,' anyway), and retires to his toilet paper tube bedroom area, hanging a tiny 'Do Not Disturb' sign at the exit.
'Oh, that's just great,' I yell at the tube, 'Leave me hangin,' why don'tcha?'
The tube does not respond.
'Fine! Fine then! I don't need you. I don't need anybody. I'll write this week's blog all by myself. Whatever, buddy.'
The tube remains silent.
'Ok goodbye, then. I'm leaving now. Bye! Gotta go, write my blog. Yes, sir! See ya!'
The tube is unimpressed with my shouting, it seems.
Stupid...tube.
It's stupid.
Nyah.
*sigh*
Sorry, everyone.
No blog this week.
*shrug*
Hamsters.
Waddayagonnado?
Until next time, folks- exit with catchphrase!
-SinSynn
'Wow, Hamster, that's exactly what I was thinking! You must be psychotic or sumpthin.''
'It's psychic, you idiot. I must be psychic. Get your words right.'
'No. I got it exactly right, dumbass. Anyway, tell me what I'm thinking now...'
*Just guess*
'You're wishing you were the chair in that photo,' the Hamster replies, rolling his eyes.
'And?'
'And I'm not gonna say it. You have like, serious issues, dude.'
'C'mon,' I smirk,'...And?'
Obviously annoyed, the Hamster begins rubbing at his fuzzy lil' temples. He does this a lot when we talk.
I have no idea why.
'And...you wish the chair had tentacles. Sheesh, man...get help. And stop trying to edit Brian Austin Green's wiki page, embed that stupid song, and then add a paragraph about how his wife is sure to be...abducted by aliens...sometime soon. Real soon.'
...Well, he's got me there. Two Cease & Desist orders are enough for one week.
Stupid Hamster....he's stupid.
'Anyway, we should be blogging,' I declare, 'So, uh...how 'bout a little spinning action there, buddy?'
At this, the Hamster plops his fuzzy lil' butt down, crosses his fuzzy lil' paws, and sulks.
'No,' he declares, ' I won't do it. When your not thinking of...'
The Hamster shivers momentarily, and continues, '...that sick kinda stuffs, yer thinking about hobby stuffs. I'm tired of it. I'm taking a break. Yer on yer own.'
I pause.
'Wadda you mean,' I ask, somewhat desperately, 'Look, I know I've been...thinking too much lately. But like...I mean- the Necrons got their FAQ! We should blog about that! And, and...the Tyranids actually got a lil' perk- Shadow in the Warp works on units in transports now!'
*Can't...clap...with...tiny...claws...*
The Hamster looks at me sullenly.
'Well now yer just makin' stuffs up,' he answers flatly, 'Why you gotta lie, bro?'
'I'm not lying!' I exclaim defensively, 'It's true. Friggin' GW, huh...all those hundreds of e-mails. Now they fix it. Go figure, right?'
The Hamster seems to reflect for a moment, remembering...
'You know they can use those e-mails as evidence if they ever decided to press charges against yo-'
'Whatever, Mister Judgmental,' I interrupt, 'Or Judge Mental, or...whatever yer dumb Hamster name is...'
'It's Hamster. Just Hamster.'
'Well...Don't you judge me, Mister Fancy Hamster-Pants.'
'Wait, what did you just call me? That doesn't even...'
'Shut up. I'm happy for the 'Nids, and you should help me blog about it...like, now would be good...So wadda ya say?'
The Hamster appears to consider it for a second.
'Hey,' the Hamster chirps brightly, 'Good thing they never made a model for the Mycetic Spore, huh?'
'Oh? Why's that?'
'Cuz then they'd hafta fix the rules for that friggin' thing, too.'
*I'm sorry, guy...I've got bad news. Real, real, real bad news.*
'Oh, yer a riot, Hamster,' I scoff, 'I suppose you won't help me blog about the leaks, either.'
The Hamster jumps up and points a fuzzy, accusatory lil' paw at me.
'You said we would keep that between us,' he...squeaks loudly (Hamsters can't really 'shout,' per say), 'It was just that...few times, anyway, you big blabbermouth.'
'Yeah, few dozen. Anyway, I'm talking about the rumored leak of the 40k 6th Edition ruleset, buddy. There's a PDF floating around that...looks like...it might be...'
I let the sentence trail away, as I notice the Hamster is now making the 'duck quacking' gesture with his fuzzy lil' paw.
'Blah blah blah,' he spouts, 'Isn't everybody dissecting that thing, on every other blog out there? Why do you wanna talk about that? Yawn. Pretty sure other people are gonna talk about the FAQ's, too. Just a shot in the dark there.'
'So what,' I argue, 'Maybe people wanna hear what I hafta say 'bout this stuffs....maybe.'
The Hamster seems genuinely amused at this.
'So they wanna hear...what, exactly? Your opinion? Your guidance and wisdom during these troubled, oh-so-turbulent times?'
'Oh, I'm sorry, was that sarcasm? Cuz I didn't quite pick up on that.'
'Well pick up on this, pal- No more thinking today. I'm done. Good day to you, sir.'
The Hamster stomps off in a huff (as much as any Hamster can be said to 'stomp,' anyway), and retires to his toilet paper tube bedroom area, hanging a tiny 'Do Not Disturb' sign at the exit.
*Well, clearly*
'Oh, that's just great,' I yell at the tube, 'Leave me hangin,' why don'tcha?'
The tube does not respond.
'Fine! Fine then! I don't need you. I don't need anybody. I'll write this week's blog all by myself. Whatever, buddy.'
The tube remains silent.
'Ok goodbye, then. I'm leaving now. Bye! Gotta go, write my blog. Yes, sir! See ya!'
The tube is unimpressed with my shouting, it seems.
Stupid...tube.
It's stupid.
Nyah.
*sigh*
Sorry, everyone.
No blog this week.
*shrug*
Hamsters.
Waddayagonnado?
Until next time, folks- exit with catchphrase!
-SinSynn
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