The First Day of Fishmas

Uglyraincoat:  It is good sometimes not to know things.  For example: this is a real fish.  They are a freshwater species that can jump some 6 feet out of the water to catch food (including birds), earning them the moniker “water monkey.”  It reminds me a lot of other big blue creatures in its ability to gain flying, and it nails the true spirit of island magic way better than djinn’s and other such non-sense.  Give me a 4/4 flying fish, and you feed me for a long time.  That’s how it goes, right?  

Dethtron:  it makes me sad when pet stores sell these.  There’s no joke there.  Just knowing that most of these are bound for 10 or 20 gallon tanks just makes me sad.
Lauby:  My name is Lauby and I approve this card. First card of the series and I have nothing of value to add.  Nice.Dethtron: way to choose alphabetical order to all of us.

Dethtron:  I love it.  The artwork for this is drawn in something like Dandan scale.  

Uglyraincoat:  Named after the king of demons and prince of the deadly sin of lust.  This perhaps explains why Asmodii likes to eat worms more than your average giant fish.  Why is it a zombie fish?  I just don’t know.  
Lauby:  I think that’s gonna end up being a theme with this endeavor.  “We just don’t know anymore”.
Dethtron:  pretty sure it’s a zombie because zombies kick ass.

Uglyraincoat: Great name for a card, and the artistic rendition of a wizard with a silly hat brings the nerdy premise of the game to the forefront.  It is often too easy to forget that you’re pretending to be dueling wizards when playing.  There should be more LARP house rules.  

Dethtron:  LARP house rules?  Dear god.  ‘You play basilisk.  Now cluck like a chicken.’
Lauby:  Just remember, there’s a no touching rule, so Dryad's Caress and Uktabi Orangutan aren’t going to be all that helpful in any plans you may have to bone that nerdy girl you like.  But on the other hand, it’s a very welcome barrier for all the regular magic nerds out there who smell like old milk.

Uglyraincoat: Two token creatures for three mana is classic green creature generation.  I think it is probably too passive in limiting them to defender, but it does have synergy with asmodii.  Somewhere, a copyright lawyer representing National Lampoon’s Vacation is sweating because of the near rip-off of Cousin Eddie’s joke at the Hoover Dam.    

Lauby:  Gonna have to agree with you on the ‘too passive’ thing.  Which is kind of the big flaw in the kind of ‘core rules hook’ thing we were trying to build in.   The worm theme crops up over and over again, but no one really ever used the mechanic when it got down to it. Now that I’m looking back I can easily see why.  I  t looks like we were trying to design a this kind of slow, controll-y type creature generation thing and then played these cards exclusively with drunk people.

Dethtron:  I think we all know that worms are renowned for their defensive capabilities.  And really, when was the last time you saw a worm on the attack.  I stand by the defender.

Uglyraincoat: What?!?  Did you forget about Dune?  Spice must flow.....

Dethtron: best quote of all time.  

Uglyraincoat: I can not run for beer any time I want.  
Lauby: I do love the fact that the card implies that on our plane, there exists a direct correlation between drinking and magical power.  
Dethtron:  are you implying there isn’t a direct correlation?

Dethtron:  wait, does this mean we have to justify Bernie’s existence this early in the series?

Lauby:  I dunno if ‘justify’ is the right word for the task in front of us, re: the Bern.
Uglyraincoat: Can we even explain Bernie to strangers?  The prophecy?  The syntax of past message-board entries that could only, pardon the phrase, have resulted from him typing with his actual tongue?  Or the love that his tender soul generates before you are bern-a-nated?  One such example happened in the unlikely course of events that resulted in all of the food being locked in the trunk of a car that could not be opened due to a dead battery - not even manually!  I think this is the origin of the card’s sacrifice penalty.  If I had it to do over again, I would suggest a random sacrifice (determined by a die roll of anything from a land, creature, enchantment) or discard (from your hand or deck).  Only then would you approach the random effect that is truly the nature of getting bern-a-nated.  
Lauby: I’ve known the guys since 1st grade, so my appreciation and acceptance of the swath of destruction that follows him is a bit different than yours. The idea is that when Bern is on a task, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it’s going to end poorly.  So the idea is that when you (rather than Bern) actually get to pick a task for him, you’re essentially cutting out the randomness because you’re focusing the destruction in specific areas.  
Dethtron:  I feel like this would have been a perfect opportunity to bring a little randomness into the game.  Maybe something like “flip bern-anated into the air.  Any permanents it lands on are removed from the game with matches.  The caster and his opponent may attempt to alter bern-anated’s flight path using any type of fan (actual or improvised) available.”  
Uglyraincoat: Bernie would undoubtedly bring a knife to a fan fight.